365 days without booze... join me?
Discussion
It's obvious from your post that you've learned a lot about your processes around alcohol during the past few weeks.
This can only hold you in good stead in the future. Be aware of any increases in consumption that become problematic to you, or others. Your diary can be a useful tool to combat 'mission creep'.
This can only hold you in good stead in the future. Be aware of any increases in consumption that become problematic to you, or others. Your diary can be a useful tool to combat 'mission creep'.
Tomorrow will be six months dry for me, which I'm very proud of. There have been a few tests along the way, but I think I'm now officially a 'non-drinker', which is a bit of a weird thing to see written down, given my relationship with alcohol since I was about seventeen!
Good job to everyone else sticking it out, it's not easy when the whole world seems a bit obsessed!
Good job to everyone else sticking it out, it's not easy when the whole world seems a bit obsessed!
I have a friend that sometimes disappears for a week or two. Maybe once very 4/5 months.
Lovely guy, his son is friends with my daughter (both 7).
I know he goes off an absolute bender. His wife is our friend as well and has told me some of the stuff he does. s
tting himself, wandering down street in underpants (which is not as crazy here as it might be in UK), put his hand through a window and requiring surgery etc etc.
I’ve never seen any of this. I meet him for coffee or taking kids out, been on some family getaways as well. Never an issue.
I know its got bad as wife is now leaving him. Wants a co-parenting arrangement whereby he can’t be present when drunk
Got a call yesterday; he was clearly hammered and asked could please come to see him even though he was embarrassed and would understand if I didn’t want to.
I’ve never seen anything like it. Slumped on a stained sofa, vomit covered t-shirt, cut nose, food on the floor as well as a dubious looking liquid that turned out to be vomited up blood. Had st himself a little bit. Talking about suicide, sobbing. Run out of mixers for his Jamesons so was using his son’s yoghurt drink.
Spent three hours there, he vomited up a black liquid into a bucket and down himself - mix of drink and clotted blood. Remarkably coherent though. Wants to stop doing this. Honest as well; I said I’ll take the bottles of alcohol home with me; he said he would just order some more for delivery.
Wife had, obviously, gone off with son. She told me he has medicine for the bleeding, it happens every time and to just leave him to it.
Cutting the story short, I did a video call this morning; he was still hammered and hiccuping; Every hiccup either a black lump of gelid blood would come out or bright red liquid blood running down his chin.
I got him to hospital and straight into CAT. Alcohol abuse has burnt out a section of stomach that has scarred and keeps ripping and bleeding.
I’ve dealt with some things at road accidents but this…..seeing a friend vomiting up blood.
Apparently just can’t stop, always comes back to the drink, seen professionals etc. Can stay off booze for six months but always ends up in a state again.
Just really really upsetting. Couldn’t even give the guy a hug as was in a disgusting state.
How sad is this? I’m shell shocked. I knew he would go off on ‘a bender’ but i’ve never seen anything like this in my life. He’s a lovely caring family guy; this is just like a whole different person but still him….if that makes sense…?
Lovely guy, his son is friends with my daughter (both 7).
I know he goes off an absolute bender. His wife is our friend as well and has told me some of the stuff he does. s
tting himself, wandering down street in underpants (which is not as crazy here as it might be in UK), put his hand through a window and requiring surgery etc etc.I’ve never seen any of this. I meet him for coffee or taking kids out, been on some family getaways as well. Never an issue.
I know its got bad as wife is now leaving him. Wants a co-parenting arrangement whereby he can’t be present when drunk
Got a call yesterday; he was clearly hammered and asked could please come to see him even though he was embarrassed and would understand if I didn’t want to.
I’ve never seen anything like it. Slumped on a stained sofa, vomit covered t-shirt, cut nose, food on the floor as well as a dubious looking liquid that turned out to be vomited up blood. Had s
t himself a little bit. Talking about suicide, sobbing. Run out of mixers for his Jamesons so was using his son’s yoghurt drink.Spent three hours there, he vomited up a black liquid into a bucket and down himself - mix of drink and clotted blood. Remarkably coherent though. Wants to stop doing this. Honest as well; I said I’ll take the bottles of alcohol home with me; he said he would just order some more for delivery.
Wife had, obviously, gone off with son. She told me he has medicine for the bleeding, it happens every time and to just leave him to it.
Cutting the story short, I did a video call this morning; he was still hammered and hiccuping; Every hiccup either a black lump of gelid blood would come out or bright red liquid blood running down his chin.
I got him to hospital and straight into CAT. Alcohol abuse has burnt out a section of stomach that has scarred and keeps ripping and bleeding.
I’ve dealt with some things at road accidents but this…..seeing a friend vomiting up blood.
Apparently just can’t stop, always comes back to the drink, seen professionals etc. Can stay off booze for six months but always ends up in a state again.
Just really really upsetting. Couldn’t even give the guy a hug as was in a disgusting state.
How sad is this? I’m shell shocked. I knew he would go off on ‘a bender’ but i’ve never seen anything like this in my life. He’s a lovely caring family guy; this is just like a whole different person but still him….if that makes sense…?
othername said:
Well it seems I might have an intolerance to red wine
I probably shouldn't really contribute to this topic, as I like a drink, and don't have any plans to stop for an extended period of time, but I do seem to feel really down the day after drinking red wine. Which is a shame, as I really enjoy it at the time!Beer doesn't really have the same effect, it's strange.
Blib said:
Sadly, most people suffering from alcohol dependency don't get anywhere near to recovery.
Instead, one way or another, they are killed by the condition.
That’s comforting to know. Instead, one way or another, they are killed by the condition.
I don’t want to get sucked into this s
t show too much.Will try and point him in direction of more counselling, I guess.
I was told to stop drinking 6 years ago by a doctor as a medication for my ( just diagnosed) epilepsy was contra-indicated for alcohol. So I stopped that day. Not really helpful story for him.
Genuinely scary. This is not the person I know….Hrs been like this for a week.
jdw100 said:
Blib said:
Sadly, most people suffering from alcohol dependency don't get anywhere near to recovery.
Instead, one way or another, they are killed by the condition.
That’s comforting to know. Instead, one way or another, they are killed by the condition.
I don’t want to get sucked into this s
t show too much.Will try and point him in direction of more counselling, I guess.
I was told to stop drinking 6 years ago by a doctor as a medication for my ( just diagnosed) epilepsy was contra-indicated for alcohol. So I stopped that day. Not really helpful story for him.
Genuinely scary. This is not the person I know….Hrs been like this for a week.
What we cautioned them stands for you too. We taught them the 'Three Cs':
You didn't cause it. *
You can't control it.
You can't cure it.
Unless and until your friend has genuinely had enough, and is open to change there's not much any one else can do.
* I don't exactly subscribe to this first bit.
mooseracer said:
Blib said:
You didn't cause it. *
You can't control it.
You can't cure it.
* I don't exactly subscribe to this first bit.
Really quite surprised by this, how come?You can't control it.
You can't cure it.
* I don't exactly subscribe to this first bit.
This dysfunction can be real OR perceived. This approach worked for me in my practice.
However, there are many, many different theories as to what causes addiction. Indeed, the first line of the first lecture of my Masters course was 'No one knows what causes addiction. We shall teach you the theories, work with what resonates with you'.
Many of my colleagues had completely different approaches.
(I told you that I'd bang on
) That's sad to read jdw. Hoping something works for your friend but yeh, sounds bleak.
I did 5 months dry up until recently. I'd characterise myself as having alcohol use disorder based on what I've read and listened to - yet my brain can and will convince itself that I can try again. My mum died from the stuff when I was 8 so I suppose there's an element of hereditary predisposition perhaps. My issue is not going from 0 drinks to 1 - that's simple. It's where that 1 takes me, which is invariably far too many.
I have had some drinks over last few weeks but I'm quitting again - the 5 months without have made it quite clear that it takes away far more than it gives.
Best of luck to everyone on the same battle.
I did 5 months dry up until recently. I'd characterise myself as having alcohol use disorder based on what I've read and listened to - yet my brain can and will convince itself that I can try again. My mum died from the stuff when I was 8 so I suppose there's an element of hereditary predisposition perhaps. My issue is not going from 0 drinks to 1 - that's simple. It's where that 1 takes me, which is invariably far too many.
I have had some drinks over last few weeks but I'm quitting again - the 5 months without have made it quite clear that it takes away far more than it gives.
Best of luck to everyone on the same battle.
Jungleland said:
That's sad to read jdw. Hoping something works for your friend but yeh, sounds bleak.
I did 5 months dry up until recently. I'd characterise myself as having alcohol use disorder based on what I've read and listened to - yet my brain can and will convince itself that I can try again. My mum died from the stuff when I was 8 so I suppose there's an element of hereditary predisposition perhaps. My issue is not going from 0 drinks to 1 - that's simple. It's where that 1 takes me, which is invariably far too many.
I have had some drinks over last few weeks but I'm quitting again - the 5 months without have made it quite clear that it takes away far more than it gives.
Best of luck to everyone on the same battle.
Not really working out. I did 5 months dry up until recently. I'd characterise myself as having alcohol use disorder based on what I've read and listened to - yet my brain can and will convince itself that I can try again. My mum died from the stuff when I was 8 so I suppose there's an element of hereditary predisposition perhaps. My issue is not going from 0 drinks to 1 - that's simple. It's where that 1 takes me, which is invariably far too many.
I have had some drinks over last few weeks but I'm quitting again - the 5 months without have made it quite clear that it takes away far more than it gives.
Best of luck to everyone on the same battle.
He’s out of hospital. Bleeding is from a gastric band type of operation a few years ago (10?). Alcohol has totally inflamed the area, hence hiccuping up blood.
I rang him last night; he was drunk.
No wonder his wife is leaving him.
Best of luck to anyone on here with these kind of issues.
If vomiting up blood whilst sat in your own poo, repeating the behaviour that lead to you losing wife and son…if that’s not a wake up call…
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