365 days without booze... join me?

[nick_j007]

LordGrover said:

Still all clear here since Boxing Day.
I came close to a 'relapse' the other night when I popped into the corner shop to get some butter or cheese or something. As I was waiting in the queue I reached out and picked up a small bottle of wine, just a reward for being so good, not drinking and all that. Just as I came up to the till I popped it on the shelf.
Willpower points = willpower points +1.

I'd thought I'd retrained myself to believe alcohol is just another drug. I don't do drugs.
It's the availability and acceptability that tempts us.

BTW - sleeping well and feeling more rested and relaxed. It will come to those who stick to it.
Best of British and all that!

Liking the willpower! Beer and wine stacked up in the aisle as you go to pay should be banned in my opinion!

[nick_j007]

croyde said:

Morning all. Starting day 11 for me and I can't believe how much more chilled I am and to think I felt that I needed a drink to relax. Still haven't been to the pub though and I was talking to my brother about this last night as he has done stints off the booze.

Drinking sparkling water or fruit juices is ok but if all your other companions are getting drunk, it makes for a very boring evening. You/they are just on different levels.

Last month I went to a mates birthday drinks and when I arrived he and a very old mate of his from school days were completely pissed and bloody annoying, especially his mate.

I ended up talking to my mate's wife, who doesn't drink much if at all, which was nice but later one of her friends arrived, who wasn't drinking as they had the car, so they ended up chatting to each other but by then I had had enough booze to be on the same level as my friend and his old mate.

Complicated isn't it.

Looks like I will have to look for other evening social events like Bingo, learning the ukulele or salsa dancing

Yep, I have bowed out of quite a few events as I can't hack it to be honest. A few on here have been amazingly able to carry on with the old pub routines but not drink alcohol. I say this from time to time, but it's ok to be selfish and look after yourself. We did a wedding recently, but I went to the ceremony, grabbed a coffee afterwards and did the social rounds and then left so as not to be in a sit down wine on the table situation and me the only one not drinking. I think that in time I could cope better with that, but still at 14 months it's not easy. Of course I want to fit in, of course I want to have a sodding drink, but I know where it all ends up in a few months time
But that's just me.

[nick_j007]

croyde said:

I went to a friend's wedding once. It was miles away in Somerset so I hired a Porsche Boxster (I was thinking of getting one) as a treat. The B&B was miles from the church and wedding venue so I drove and didn't drink. It was miserable and I just could not get into the swing of things.

I made it through to past midnight by just looking forward to the drive back to the B&B but I was a miserable sod at the wedding party though

Hmmm. That reminds me of a wedding I went to a while back. I pretended to have had a drink so that made a fun night. I danced like nobody was watching, flirted and had a good laugh. People were amazed I was so perky the next morning. I loved all the hung over faces and I felt bloody great and enjoyed a hearty breakfast. Lol.

[nick_j007]

anonymous said:

[redacted]

Great work! I too was wondering how others are coping?

Nick

[nick_j007]

Bemmer said:

anonymous said:

[redacted]

I'm in from the 2nd and feeling good.! Sleeping alot better and having a breakfast in the mornings,porridge toast etc were as before I would skip breakfast with only a black coffee,and just seem to have more energy,only trouble is I,m eating more generally so put a few pounds on.! The idea is cut out the boze and Lose a few pounds but that's not the case with me.!

I went through the food thing myself. What I did was to be very careful with the carbs and eat a diet high in vegetables and protein with just enough carbs such as rice to give the energy I needed.

HTH.

Nick

[nick_j007]

Lovely job Smitters.

I'm still dry (was trying to think of something humorous...as dry as a... type of thing but it's not coming to me).

Other half is facing redundancy, cat died on the weekend, I had a customer complaint that got unpleasant and so st happens and it made me feel the pressure, but thankfully I have such a base of staying dry that that supports me a great deal and it seems a great pity to throw away 14 months of effort, to start back on some slippery slope and return to the joy of lost days feeling hung over. I kind of jealously guard the dry time I've built up.

It's also become clear to me that I am not hankering for a drink at 6pm or going to bed feeling that I have missed a drink. To move away from the feeling of loss or missing out for me marks a huge step forward and I can actually get a shift on with living my life instead of living it through the lurching from one piss up to the next, or even steady drinking each night. So for others that are early on you may need to keep dry for quite a few months before you iron out all the missing a drink feelings and also to send the message out to others that you want to go longer and longer.

I think one thing that happens (to me anyway) is that when you stop drinking and tell others it mirrors back to them the over drinking that they may be doing personally and this can make them feel uncomfortable so the reactions vary. Most have given up with me now and know that I'm still dry and things are different admittedly, but for the better -for me. Stopping drinking is a positively selfish thing to do, if that's what you want.

I maintain that it' a good idea to go month by month and to avoid social situations that can be too much in the beginning. At this stage (whilst I continue to avoid pubs) I could do most social situations and remain calm and in control

Have a good day,

Nick

[nick_j007]

anonymous said:

[redacted]

Awesome!

[nick_j007]

funinhounslow said:

My experience as well in a nutshell. Haven't touched a drop since reading that book about five months ago, and I am confident this will last as the desire for a drink has just evaporated.

Friends can't believe it when I say I have stopped drinking indefinitely, and I'm sure they keep expecting me to fall off the wagon. I can also go to a pub and have a good time without drinking, much to my amazement.

I feel so much better since knocking it on the head, and I am also much less stressed and sleep like a baby every night.

Sometimes I really wish I'd read that book ten years ago...

Eta I bought the kindle version of "no more hangovers" to keep on my phone to refer to in an emergency in case I had a wobble whilst out. ("No more hangovers" is a much shorter version of the book referred to above.) I haven't needed to yet...

Edited by funinhounslow on Tuesday 12th March 23:40

Edited by funinhounslow on Tuesday 12th March 23:42

Just bought that Kindle edition thank you. I'm dry for 17 months now and am the OP. Going away for a week tomorrow and have been having thoughts of drinking. Weird how these thoughts still lurk and haunt me a bit, they come on at the most inopportune moments and usually when feeling a bit stressed and wanted to get away from something. Also been dreaming about drinking a bit too so I am waking up feeling guilty as if I'd had a drink the night before! Lol.

Thanks all.

[nick_j007]

superkartracer said:

5 weeks off the full year

I'll ponder going Tee-Total once a year is up

This is terrfific work. Good on you! For me hitting the 365 as per my original target was really important. As I hoped at that point I was ambivalent about drinking again and was reluctant to throw away all the previous effort and go back to square one so at 17 months I am still dry and if anything continuing to secure my ground though the OH still drinks moderately at home and at times this is not easy for me. Just back from a week away and seemed to cope pretty well with that so hopefully I'm well set to maintain my health!

[nick_j007]

superkartracer said:

Well thats a FULL year today

- Removed the congrats OAK comment due to the vile posts made on the Angelina Jolie thread..

Edited by superkartracer on Friday 17th May 10:20

Sorry I've not been about much to dip in on this thread, but very well done to you today for 365 days! Bloody brilliant.

I was 18 months last week I think it was.

[nick_j007]

I think I'm in a danger zone as I'm getting to the point where the aspects that were miserable are fading and thoughts of drinking seem attractive once again.

Anyone else get that feeling? I'm finding it a tiresome nag.

[nick_j007]

LordGrover said:

Not sure... nothing like as long for me. Only 5.1/2 or 4 months for me.
There are times when I think - got it licked. What's the harm in a few drinks with friends every now and again?
However, I fear it'll just be the start of another slow decline, imperceptible at first...

Yep. I did a couple of 10 month stints and then slipped back again. Three stone later and feeling crap lol. I'm in good shape now but I think I'm having thoughts that I'm not relaxing like I used to. I'm working full tilt and feeling a bit stressed I think.

[nick_j007]

Smitters I'm still 'dry' thank you for asking. Been meaning to chip in just really busy, which ironically is adding to the feelings of wanting a beer hehe.

Managed another week away in Cornwall and avoided ending up in a sunny beer garden a number of times. Weird how it comes to me in waves as I'm still struggling a bit with not drinking despite it being 19 months now!

I'm staying fit and healthy however and achieved a 30 mile bike ride yesterday and working towards building enough fitness to do a loaded bicycle tour at some point in the summer over possibly four nights. I've also been on the 5:2 diet for a while now and that is (for me) a pretty bearable way of trimming some excess weight off without being in a drudgery diet all day every day and feeling grumpy and dizzy half the time.

So overall I'm not drinking, which I think at this rate is turning into a permanent thing as the alternative is pretty stark and effectively will return me to the beginning and will inevitably end up yet again at a point where I know I'll need to stop again due to weight and health concerns. Same cycle I've been through at least twice before after nearly a year off the booze. So I need to bare this in mind. My own history and typical events can predict the future.

Keep up the good work to those that are making an effort to achieve your goal, whatever it is. The effort is very worth it despite my grumbling at missing a pint, I suppose it's part of the loss of the process.

Nick

[nick_j007]

skibum said:

So today is the one month mark for me and it's been relatively smooth sailing.

In the main, I've not really craved a drink or thought I was missing out. Health wise I am feeling better than I have for as long as I can remember.

The biggest challenge is the peer pressure and constantly feeling like I have to justify my decision on not drinking. Questions I am getting constantly:

• What? Forever? (Answer: Well who knows, but for now yes)
• Surely you can have one? (Answer: Er, no. Thats not really the point)
• Can't you just cut down? (Answer: Right now, I dont really want any, so cutting down isnt a consideration)
• But how will you have fun? (Answer: Same as always - resisting going into preach mode of not needing booze as a crutch to have fun)

This weekend was a reunion of sorts with a load of school mates. We tend to stay in touch regularly but this weekend was a wedding celebration and was the first time a lot of us were together, given some people live overseas. When I asked for a soda water and had to explain I wasn't drinking the responses were mixed. The main one that stopped me a little was "well you'll have a st time tonight then...." - said with complete conviction and seriousness. Later on in the evening around 10:30pm as my mates were totting up their 12/13th drinks of the evening, one of my mates asked how I did it and that I must be bored. I wasnt really. It was fun seeing my mates, interesting to see how they "evolved" over the evening and I only called time on the night when the slurring and debauchery got a bit too much and I started not to see the fun in the antics.

However, I did leave with the impression that my mates couldnt get their heads around what I was doing, my motivations and that they now saw me differently - almost as a kill joy/bore. I'm sure once they get used to it (and assuming I do carry on, which I have every intention to do) they will start to understand and relent on the questioning and attempts at temptation. In the meantime, I need to make a conscious effort to prove them wrong and remain involved in the conversations/antics.

Sorry for the long ramble, but it has been therapeutic to share as it has been gnawing at me all weekend.

So here is to month 1 and here is to keeping on truckin'

I have a relatively small circle of friends and despite excessive drinking was not a regular pub goer so was able to avoid too much of this.

I just wanted to say that what you're doing is for you and not others and you have to be very clear in your head and stick to your guns. They'll come round to it eventually and if they don't then maybe that relationship was only built upon beer and getting pissed up together and how deep is that anyway?

A nice line I read in Alan Carr's book was "Sorry, I don't drink when I'm sober" Not had cause to use it yet

The sobriety is something that you will come to cherish and guard once you hit a few months in and when I see people with hangovers or hear about their lost day due to the same on Facebook I think about how glad that's not me.

In the beginning I avoided certain events or circumstances that would have been hard to manage, now they know to have a decent coffee or tea at the ready.

Stick with it, you're worth it

Nick

[nick_j007]

Meeja said:

I am now at day 162 and am finding it is getting easier.

I was working at an event at the weekend in Newcastle where it would have been rude not to go on a night out. I expected that to be difficult, as it was a hot weekend - and a couple of beers would have been very welcome.

In reality, it was easier than I thought - and whilst some of the colleagues I was with know that I am not drinking, some of the others didn't - and very interestingly, they questioned me as to why I didn't drink... rather than accept it as the norm.

It was also interesting to observe at close proximity the behaviour deterioration as the night wore on... including me having to persuade a couple of them that naked swimming in the Tyne at 3.00am was perhaps not the most sensible thing to do!

My biggest challenge will be when I go away on holiday. We are campers, and whilst away, once the kids are in bed, Mrs Meeja and I usually sit outside the tent (weather permitting!) with a book and a few glasses of wine (her) or beer (me) until it simply is too dark to read. Holidays have always historically been the only time that I have drunk any great amount.

Just picking up on your last point re holidays. I get this completely, My OH has continued to drink (she is always moderate, a glass or two) and we go away in the caravan and we love that. You need to become 'tea guru' or a purveyor of fine sparkling water with ice and any cordial you might like. Make sure you have something that feels a little special and maybe invest a nice new kettle?! I feel your pain, but just take it one day at a time and make sure you have other things to do. I'm well into my music presently and enjoying Amazon MP3 and download what I like by and large as opposed to the drink as a means of something to do. Good luck, you'll be fine I'm sure.

Nick

[nick_j007]

HomeHarry said:

I'm embarrassed to admit that I fell off the wagon a few weeks ago.

It came about quite unexpectedly. The wife was away for the weekend and a friend who I haven't seen for ages was in the area. I was intending to drive him to a country pub for a meal but he turned up with a nice bottle of red and I found myself not telling him about the fact that I had stopped drinking and instead found myself drinking the wine.

We went out afterwards and had quite a bit to drink and I felt rough the following day but then all of the old thoughts and feelings started to return. I found it really difficult to not drink in the week (especially as the weather was nice) and the following weekend I found myself back in the off license once again.

The wife is disappointed but I want to see if I can drink more moderaretly having had such a long time off booze. Do people think this is possible? I know Allen Carr says not. What do people think counts as moderate as well? I know it was probably better when I wasn't drinking anything but I do like a good glass of red so if any one can think of ways to help me be moderate I would be grateful.

Try the Drink Less Mind by Georgia Foster book. Gives options for drinking less. To be honest I struggled with drinking less on and off for years and it simply didn't work for me. I truly envy those that can seem to turn it on and off - I couldn't and so the conclusion can be inevitable in the long run. I think it's a personal journey and if you can end up being moderate then good for you! Good luck

[nick_j007]

HomeHarry said:

Thanks for this as I haven't heard of that one before.

No problem. Buy the book as you get a CD with hypnotherapy which I found to be pretty effective.

[nick_j007]

Nice work dipwing and meeja!

[nick_j007]

Hi all. Long time no speak from me. My apologies. I'm the OP, so I feel a bit responsible for the thread

Let me update you on where I've been, where I am and where I'm going.

I managed my 365 days and then went to a solid 18 months.

At the 18 month mark however, I felt over a few weeks a nagging desire for a drink and looking back I guess I the novelty of sobriety had worn off and if honest I felt really in control of myself and made the (not the first time for me) mistake of thinking I could be a balanced and moderate drinker.

So a long story short I started drinking again on the night I went to a fancy dress and it felt like it was the missing part of the night. Yes, I started off being fairly moderate in my drinking, but here I am 9 months later with regular hang overs and 20lbs heavier than I was last summer. Damn.

Maybe this time I need to start a new thread titled 'Stop drinking for ever...join me?'

I'm struggling to find the right words to put this, but as of tonight I intend to recommit myself to the stopping drinking cause but this time with a serious twist...FOR EVER! There's a final glass of red in a bottle downstairs and I intend to declare it to my family, drink it and celebrate that I'm free from having to manage my intake and free from tiresome feelings I have as a result. I'm looking forward to getting my weekend mornings back, my energy back, my looks back and zeal for life...all back.

I've been able to cope pretty well in the past non drinking phases, but always left the door ajar for the get out clause. Well I've gone without drink for IIRC three times now, the first two lasted 9/10 months and the last one 18 months.

Having spent the week reading 'Kick the drink easily by Jason Vale' I'm feeling pretty strong to do it. Not dissimilar to Carr's book on the same subject, but more in depth and more convincing I thought. He rams home the concept that you'll not be missing out on anything and in fact regaining everything you should have -energy, confidence, clarity and so on.

So, tonight. One glass to finish the bottle and then that's it. DONE with it. FINISHED. I can relax knowing that I don't have to control my limits any longer. That will be great.

Thanks all. Really heartened to see how quite a number of you have gone 365 and beyond. I know it's not easy, but the rewards are so worth it.