The autism thread
Discussion
Sporky said:
GilletteFan said:
Interesting. I scored less than 5
This might be cheeky or rude, but as that suggests you're very neurotypical, would it be OK to ask questions about how the world is for you?Sounds daft, I'm sure, but there's very little I can find that explains to autistic people what it's like to be not-autistic.
I apologise if this is one of the times I'm inadvertently asking a very inappropriate question. Or maybe we need a "ask a neurotypical anything" thread.
Turns out it's nurture rather nature.
For reference, I scored 15.
Ask away.
LosingGrip said:
If anyone has been diagnosed when they were an adult, what did you feel the benefits were? Why did you decide to do it?
I "knew" already, but wanted official confirmation. I think I'd have been accommodated at work anyway, but a diagnosis gave it a legal status to lean on if necessary.So it meant I knew and could prove it. It removed the nagging doubt in my brain that I was making it all up.
You're very welcome to ask me absolutely anything as well, you will NOT offend me in any way, I promise!
As mentioned earlier, gf is ~150 on RAADS-R, I'm around 15 I think it was, it's been a while since I took it. She and I discuss the differences a lot and it's helpful to both of us, so more than happy to try and offer whatever insight may help.
I'm also conscious of the fact that I'm not diagnosed / guaranteed to be neurotypical, so will try and keep that in mind with answers etc.!
As mentioned earlier, gf is ~150 on RAADS-R, I'm around 15 I think it was, it's been a while since I took it. She and I discuss the differences a lot and it's helpful to both of us, so more than happy to try and offer whatever insight may help.
I'm also conscious of the fact that I'm not diagnosed / guaranteed to be neurotypical, so will try and keep that in mind with answers etc.!
LosingGrip said:
If anyone has been diagnosed when they were an adult, what did you feel the benefits were? Why did you decide to do it?
I've been thinking about starting the process myself. I've noticed a few things lately and been struggling with certain things.
I had a look on the NHS website and the first four points listed are me (first one not so much). I've got a wedding to go to in May and I'm dreading it so much already.
I’m not sure why I did it if I am honest. I suspected it after my nephew was diagnosed with ASD and I had never heard of it, my mum tried to explain that why he was like he was, where as I thought he was just a little sI've been thinking about starting the process myself. I've noticed a few things lately and been struggling with certain things.
I had a look on the NHS website and the first four points listed are me (first one not so much). I've got a wedding to go to in May and I'm dreading it so much already.
t, and as she was explaining it to me, you could see the penny dropping in her mind.Benefits, very few IMO. I now know I have something that makes me different, there is little nothing I can do to change it, and the NHS are not interested in helping adults with it.
TGCOTF-dewey said:
Ask away.
Ta. I'll start with two. I have billions. I'm not quite sure how to word them but here goes. 1) if you're talking to someone, and they do that thing where they tap you on the arm every now and then while they talk, (a) is that a bit like a static shock - not painful but flinchy, and (b) does it break your concentration and you lose track of the conversation?
2) if you're in a normal/big supermarket, in (say) the beans aisle, what do the rows of things on shelves look like? Do you notice the patterns they make? If there's a tin not facing the same way as the others does it jump out at you like it's highlighted somehow? Do you notice all the tins individually at the same time? Or is it "just a load of tins"?
I don't know if those questions even make sense.
Sporky said:
TGCOTF-dewey said:
Ask away.
Ta. I'll start with two. I have billions. I'm not quite sure how to word them but here goes. 1) if you're talking to someone, and they do that thing where they tap you on the arm every now and then while they talk, (a) is that a bit like a static shock - not painful but flinchy, and (b) does it break your concentration and you lose track of the conversation?
I will notice being tapped. Not from a very tactile family though, so it will strike me as out of the ordinary. BUT not like a static shock. First couple of times it happens it might break concentration - thoughts, bit overly familiar - but then back onto topic.
2) if you're in a normal/big supermarket, in (say) the beans aisle, what do the rows of things on shelves look like? Do you notice the patterns they make? If there's a tin not facing the same way as the others does it jump out at you like it's highlighted somehow? Do you notice all the tins individually at the same time? Or is it "just a load of tins"?
I'm very visual anyway so yes I will notice patterns (linked to dyslexia). And I will very quickly spot the odd one out in things. But it just 'is'... I know for some folks with autism the lack of homogeneity can be bothering.
I don't know if those questions even make sense.
Sporky said:
Ta. I'll start with two. I have billions. I'm not quite sure how to word them but here goes.
1) if you're talking to someone, and they do that thing where they tap you on the arm every now and then while they talk, (a) is that a bit like a static shock - not painful but flinchy, and (b) does it break your concentration and you lose track of the conversation?
2) if you're in a normal/big supermarket, in (say) the beans aisle, what do the rows of things on shelves look like? Do you notice the patterns they make? If there's a tin not facing the same way as the others does it jump out at you like it's highlighted somehow? Do you notice all the tins individually at the same time? Or is it "just a load of tins"?
I don't know if those questions even make sense.
1) a) No, not at all1) if you're talking to someone, and they do that thing where they tap you on the arm every now and then while they talk, (a) is that a bit like a static shock - not painful but flinchy, and (b) does it break your concentration and you lose track of the conversation?
2) if you're in a normal/big supermarket, in (say) the beans aisle, what do the rows of things on shelves look like? Do you notice the patterns they make? If there's a tin not facing the same way as the others does it jump out at you like it's highlighted somehow? Do you notice all the tins individually at the same time? Or is it "just a load of tins"?
I don't know if those questions even make sense.
b) Also no. I do consciously notice it though, and will weigh up whether I think the person is just naturally tactile and being friendly, or whether they're doing it in a passive attempt to be dominant or are consciously trying to force a rapport.
2) I do notice / look for patterns in things, so will perhaps see them if there are patterns, but I wouldn't say anything jumps out or appears highlighted, as I'm assuming you mean that very literally. The individual vs load of tins I agree is a hard thing to articulate, but I suspect I'm not able to picture what you mean because I don't see them all individually, it's realistically just a load of tins, although I may look at them and observe things such as which ones are 'most popular' based on being empty, or casually ponder things like the design of he packaging and why / how they're designed to draw the eye of their target audience etc.
I'm quite an analytical sort of person, so I expect my answers aren't necessarily typical, but I thought any additional information may be helpful
Hi folks, I've dipped in and out of this thread and read some great advice and learned a lot.
Son is 5, will be 6 in July, was diagnosed with Autism age 3 and has the EHCP etc in place. He also has Cystic Fibrosis. Currently at a local prep school (heavily discounted), but they cannot cope with his needs anymore, so has been allocated a place in a SEND unit at a state school some 25 miles from his mum's house where he lives full time (we're divorced but on good terms). He starts there next term. We're struggling to find child minders who will take on the wrap around care when he gets home (He will be taken there and brought back by taxi provided by LA). It's reached the point that we're considering an Opare moving in with her to resolve this situation. A Nanny is £25ph which is unaffordable; sadly neither of us are powerfully built or company directors.
Have any other parents of little ones with autism encountered this issue, or do they have any suggestions/recommendations on how to resolve the issue? We're based in Devon.
Son is 5, will be 6 in July, was diagnosed with Autism age 3 and has the EHCP etc in place. He also has Cystic Fibrosis. Currently at a local prep school (heavily discounted), but they cannot cope with his needs anymore, so has been allocated a place in a SEND unit at a state school some 25 miles from his mum's house where he lives full time (we're divorced but on good terms). He starts there next term. We're struggling to find child minders who will take on the wrap around care when he gets home (He will be taken there and brought back by taxi provided by LA). It's reached the point that we're considering an Opare moving in with her to resolve this situation. A Nanny is £25ph which is unaffordable; sadly neither of us are powerfully built or company directors.
Have any other parents of little ones with autism encountered this issue, or do they have any suggestions/recommendations on how to resolve the issue? We're based in Devon.
I have read this thread for some time and been strongly encouraged to seek a diagnosis by my wife for some time. Basically zero chance to get an NHS diagnosis for years, (if at all at my age - 46 now), so had very few choices.
All done now after many online forms, 2 hours with me and 2 x 30 minutes calls with my parents. 8 page document detailing everything with literally 2 lines at the bottom:
Diagnosis
ASD diagnosed.
Certainly doesn't change me, nor am I particularly worried either way but it is good knowledge for my wife and offers good suggestions for things to look at going forward.
Now that you've read this please re-read the post from Jonmx above and help if you can. I mainly posted this because it is what I came into the thread to do and it will resonate with many on here that I literally couldn't not make the post
All done now after many online forms, 2 hours with me and 2 x 30 minutes calls with my parents. 8 page document detailing everything with literally 2 lines at the bottom:
Diagnosis
ASD diagnosed.
Certainly doesn't change me, nor am I particularly worried either way but it is good knowledge for my wife and offers good suggestions for things to look at going forward.
Now that you've read this please re-read the post from Jonmx above and help if you can. I mainly posted this because it is what I came into the thread to do and it will resonate with many on here that I literally couldn't not make the post
My daughter was diagnosed at age 15 and one of the things she said in response to receiving the diagnosis was "I wish I knew this when I was five." Having a diagnosis as early as you can get it means you have more time to use this information to your advantage. School can be a particularly cruel environment for neurodiverse students, but appropriate reasonable adjustments actually help quite significantly - so being able to put them in place is a big deal and something that you can't achieve without a diagnosis. There will always be a struggle but having an awareness of what my daughter is dealing with makes it easier to work around it. We can fit the world around her a bit more. For example, she is allowed to leave the classroom at any point when she's overwhelmed, no questions asked. She doesn't have to explain anything or ask for permission to leave. Try pulling something like this on a pretty regular basis without a diagnosis! And it's only one example.
My daughter chose to be open about her neurodiversity with the school, teachers, friends, romantic partners, employers, which means that she makes her life choices based on how supportive or unsupportive people and organisations are, and so she essentially filters out people and places that are ableist or ignorant. We talked a lot about how she may get hurt by some people's reactions but frankly nothing compares to her previous struggle of not only being misunderstood by others but also being unable to make sense of all the fallouts and drama that resulted from her undiagnosed autism before the diagnosis. Having undiagnosed autism feels like everyone wants to fix you all the time for no apparent reason, it's exhausting!
Without a doubt, the diagnosis helped the relationship between me and my daughter too. I can accommodate her sensitivity so much better now that I'm aware of it. I can shield her from annoying family members who expect certain "standards" of behaviour and see her autistic traits as rude. We no longer have to go out of our way to explain everything - it's choice of said family members whether they want to educate themselves or not, and it no longer guilt trips me.
I personally don't have a diagnosis myself only because it's so insanely hard to get it through NHS and I never got round to it. I really, really want a diagnosis. It's sort of my personal goal for 2023. LosingGrip - I think of obtaining a diagnosis as a smart thing to do. With the right attitude and if you articulate it well to your friends, family and employer(s), it will benefit you enormously and you won't have to hold yourself to impossible standards anymore. It just means life can be more content and peaceful. Without a diagnosis - relationships and jobs are at significant risk - it's a bit of a timebomb situation until the misunderstanding grows to unsustainable proportions and then you have to start your life (relationships, jobs) all over again in a way, if that makes sense?..
As an analogy, my friend has a weak heart. She looks healthy and full of energy, you could never tell that she has a life threatening condition by just looking at her (just like autistic people don't always look like they're struggling). But if me and my friend do more than one flight of stairs she'd say "hang on a minute, I need a break" and just stop. She won't even be asking anything, she'll just make a statement, politely and calmly. She knows she can't go beyond her ability and she's fine with it. If she didn't know about her heart condition she'd probably damage her heart by trying to keep up with others. Same with autism, if you know your limits, you can live a healthier life.
My daughter chose to be open about her neurodiversity with the school, teachers, friends, romantic partners, employers, which means that she makes her life choices based on how supportive or unsupportive people and organisations are, and so she essentially filters out people and places that are ableist or ignorant. We talked a lot about how she may get hurt by some people's reactions but frankly nothing compares to her previous struggle of not only being misunderstood by others but also being unable to make sense of all the fallouts and drama that resulted from her undiagnosed autism before the diagnosis. Having undiagnosed autism feels like everyone wants to fix you all the time for no apparent reason, it's exhausting!
Without a doubt, the diagnosis helped the relationship between me and my daughter too. I can accommodate her sensitivity so much better now that I'm aware of it. I can shield her from annoying family members who expect certain "standards" of behaviour and see her autistic traits as rude. We no longer have to go out of our way to explain everything - it's choice of said family members whether they want to educate themselves or not, and it no longer guilt trips me.
I personally don't have a diagnosis myself only because it's so insanely hard to get it through NHS and I never got round to it. I really, really want a diagnosis. It's sort of my personal goal for 2023. LosingGrip - I think of obtaining a diagnosis as a smart thing to do. With the right attitude and if you articulate it well to your friends, family and employer(s), it will benefit you enormously and you won't have to hold yourself to impossible standards anymore. It just means life can be more content and peaceful. Without a diagnosis - relationships and jobs are at significant risk - it's a bit of a timebomb situation until the misunderstanding grows to unsustainable proportions and then you have to start your life (relationships, jobs) all over again in a way, if that makes sense?..
As an analogy, my friend has a weak heart. She looks healthy and full of energy, you could never tell that she has a life threatening condition by just looking at her (just like autistic people don't always look like they're struggling). But if me and my friend do more than one flight of stairs she'd say "hang on a minute, I need a break" and just stop. She won't even be asking anything, she'll just make a statement, politely and calmly. She knows she can't go beyond her ability and she's fine with it. If she didn't know about her heart condition she'd probably damage her heart by trying to keep up with others. Same with autism, if you know your limits, you can live a healthier life.
Edited by timeism0ney on Tuesday 14th March 22:30
Jonmx I think au-pair is a good idea, to be honest! My close friend had au-pairs for years with great success. It might take time to find one and get her/him over but live-in help is exactly the support you need, I think. Alternatively, there's lots of Ukrainians in the UK displaced by war, looking for work, so this is another option. Post in Devon Facebook group for example: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1128192037974798
I am Ukrainian (British citizen), if you want any more insight/thoughts, send me a private message.
I am Ukrainian (British citizen), if you want any more insight/thoughts, send me a private message.
SturdyHSV said:
1) a) No, not at all
b) Also no. I do consciously notice it though, and will weigh up whether I think the person is just naturally tactile and being friendly, or whether they're doing it in a passive attempt to be dominant or are consciously trying to force a rapport.
2) I do notice / look for patterns in things, so will perhaps see them if there are patterns, but I wouldn't say anything jumps out or appears highlighted, as I'm assuming you mean that very literally. The individual vs load of tins I agree is a hard thing to articulate, but I suspect I'm not able to picture what you mean because I don't see them all individually, it's realistically just a load of tins, although I may look at them and observe things such as which ones are 'most popular' based on being empty, or casually ponder things like the design of he packaging and why / how they're designed to draw the eye of their target audience etc.
I'm quite an analytical sort of person, so I expect my answers aren't necessarily typical, but I thought any additional information may be helpful
I'm analytical and my job involves plenty of number crunching and modelling. However, I scored very low in the RAAD-S test. I think what I observed in people having ASD is that they exhibit unusual behaviours such as being very rude and inappropriate with what they say. Also, they seem to suffer from anxiety and other OCD issues. I have a friend who is autistic and he married someone with severe autism and antisocial disorder issues. This is, unfortunately, already showing in their kids. Interestingly, people who have ASD, whether diagnosed or not (they don't even think to try the RAAS-S on themselves) end up together and have kids that will be the same as them - well more likely to be than not. b) Also no. I do consciously notice it though, and will weigh up whether I think the person is just naturally tactile and being friendly, or whether they're doing it in a passive attempt to be dominant or are consciously trying to force a rapport.
2) I do notice / look for patterns in things, so will perhaps see them if there are patterns, but I wouldn't say anything jumps out or appears highlighted, as I'm assuming you mean that very literally. The individual vs load of tins I agree is a hard thing to articulate, but I suspect I'm not able to picture what you mean because I don't see them all individually, it's realistically just a load of tins, although I may look at them and observe things such as which ones are 'most popular' based on being empty, or casually ponder things like the design of he packaging and why / how they're designed to draw the eye of their target audience etc.
I'm quite an analytical sort of person, so I expect my answers aren't necessarily typical, but I thought any additional information may be helpful
Jonmx said:
Hi folks, I've dipped in and out of this thread and read some great advice and learned a lot.
Son is 5, will be 6 in July, was diagnosed with Autism age 3 and has the EHCP etc in place. He also has Cystic Fibrosis. Currently at a local prep school (heavily discounted), but they cannot cope with his needs anymore, so has been allocated a place in a SEND unit at a state school some 25 miles from his mum's house where he lives full time (we're divorced but on good terms). He starts there next term. We're struggling to find child minders who will take on the wrap around care when he gets home (He will be taken there and brought back by taxi provided by LA). It's reached the point that we're considering an Opare moving in with her to resolve this situation. A Nanny is £25ph which is unaffordable; sadly neither of us are powerfully built or company directors.
Have any other parents of little ones with autism encountered this issue, or do they have any suggestions/recommendations on how to resolve the issue? We're based in Devon.
It’s not something I have direct experience of, but look into “Direct Payments” from the local authority which would allow you to employee a Personal Assistant for a certain number of hours per week to meet your need.Son is 5, will be 6 in July, was diagnosed with Autism age 3 and has the EHCP etc in place. He also has Cystic Fibrosis. Currently at a local prep school (heavily discounted), but they cannot cope with his needs anymore, so has been allocated a place in a SEND unit at a state school some 25 miles from his mum's house where he lives full time (we're divorced but on good terms). He starts there next term. We're struggling to find child minders who will take on the wrap around care when he gets home (He will be taken there and brought back by taxi provided by LA). It's reached the point that we're considering an Opare moving in with her to resolve this situation. A Nanny is £25ph which is unaffordable; sadly neither of us are powerfully built or company directors.
Have any other parents of little ones with autism encountered this issue, or do they have any suggestions/recommendations on how to resolve the issue? We're based in Devon.
I know parents that have a PA for various reasons:
- to allow their child to go out “independently” of their parents just like any other teenager would
- to give respite to the parents
- to allow the parents to spend time with their other child
And many other reasons it’s definitely worth looking into.
Note that you are the PA’s employer but there are organisations and charities that can help with the admin and payroll side of things.
Just a thought anyway.
GilletteFan said:
Interestingly, people who have ASD, whether diagnosed or not (they don't even think to try the RAAS-S on themselves) end up together and have kids that will be the same as them - well more likely to be than not.
That may be a good thing.Without autistic people, the human race would still be sitting in caves having lovely chats.
(not totally serious, not totally not serious)
Jonmx said:
Hi folks, I've dipped in and out of this thread and read some great advice and learned a lot.
Son is 5, will be 6 in July, was diagnosed with Autism age 3 and has the EHCP etc in place. He also has Cystic Fibrosis. Currently at a local prep school (heavily discounted), but they cannot cope with his needs anymore, so has been allocated a place in a SEND unit at a state school some 25 miles from his mum's house where he lives full time (we're divorced but on good terms). He starts there next term. We're struggling to find child minders who will take on the wrap around care when he gets home (He will be taken there and brought back by taxi provided by LA). It's reached the point that we're considering an Opare moving in with her to resolve this situation. A Nanny is £25ph which is unaffordable; sadly neither of us are powerfully built or company directors.
Have any other parents of little ones with autism encountered this issue, or do they have any suggestions/recommendations on how to resolve the issue? We're based in Devon.
Sympathy on a,challenging situation, though having the EHCP provides a degree of legal protection around ensuring appropriate education, hope new school goes well.Son is 5, will be 6 in July, was diagnosed with Autism age 3 and has the EHCP etc in place. He also has Cystic Fibrosis. Currently at a local prep school (heavily discounted), but they cannot cope with his needs anymore, so has been allocated a place in a SEND unit at a state school some 25 miles from his mum's house where he lives full time (we're divorced but on good terms). He starts there next term. We're struggling to find child minders who will take on the wrap around care when he gets home (He will be taken there and brought back by taxi provided by LA). It's reached the point that we're considering an Opare moving in with her to resolve this situation. A Nanny is £25ph which is unaffordable; sadly neither of us are powerfully built or company directors.
Have any other parents of little ones with autism encountered this issue, or do they have any suggestions/recommendations on how to resolve the issue? We're based in Devon.
Might be worth looking at eligibilty for Disability Living Allowance or similar? An au pair might be another solution though since 2016 it seems Europeans are less willing to want to study or live in the UK, and you would always need an 'exit plan" for holidays or if things didn't work out. Might stand higher chance of au pairs taking interest if you live in an area of oytstanding natural countryside instead of a grotty city. Parental leave around key transitions like start of a new school, seeing if you can negotiate more family friendly working hours or work from home are things you've probably already thought about but worth a shout if applicable.
Finding the office environment a tad challenging at the moment....
I've never been entirely relaxed in office environment anyway, and I know my personal interaction is not great which causes it's own issues. But, we spent 2 years WFH which was much much better - and now we're being forced back to the office most of the week, it seems the break didn't just affect me.
I am 'loud' when I speak. I was made aware of it several years ago, and it's an ongoing issue. Despite numerous attempts to stop it, I'm clearly failing to keep the volume down most of the time. And 2 years WFH has made others much less tolerant. I was approached on two successive days this week - by two different people - and told to lower my voice.
The second instance really upset me - the guy was clearly very annoyed and it's somebody I generally get on with well. I was one step away from mailing HR, making them aware of my Asperger diagnosis and saying that I find the office too challenging and want to continue WFH. Problem is, I'm not sure I really want my work to know - plus the local HR head was also in charge at my last company so I've know her about 20 years, most of which has involved me working in an office...... But, since then I've had my diagnosis (about 5 years ago), and lockdown made me realise that my working environment could be much less stressful - so it's tempting to try. Especially since there is an individual who does still WFH due to his own mental health issues......
I did a bit of searching and it seems that poor volume control is not uncommon. Other than not talking at work and relying on Teams chats (except in meetings) I'm not really sure how to solve it.
I've never been entirely relaxed in office environment anyway, and I know my personal interaction is not great which causes it's own issues. But, we spent 2 years WFH which was much much better - and now we're being forced back to the office most of the week, it seems the break didn't just affect me.
I am 'loud' when I speak. I was made aware of it several years ago, and it's an ongoing issue. Despite numerous attempts to stop it, I'm clearly failing to keep the volume down most of the time. And 2 years WFH has made others much less tolerant. I was approached on two successive days this week - by two different people - and told to lower my voice.
The second instance really upset me - the guy was clearly very annoyed and it's somebody I generally get on with well. I was one step away from mailing HR, making them aware of my Asperger diagnosis and saying that I find the office too challenging and want to continue WFH. Problem is, I'm not sure I really want my work to know - plus the local HR head was also in charge at my last company so I've know her about 20 years, most of which has involved me working in an office...... But, since then I've had my diagnosis (about 5 years ago), and lockdown made me realise that my working environment could be much less stressful - so it's tempting to try. Especially since there is an individual who does still WFH due to his own mental health issues......
I did a bit of searching and it seems that poor volume control is not uncommon. Other than not talking at work and relying on Teams chats (except in meetings) I'm not really sure how to solve it.
Hard to say without knowing your employer and importance to them.
I told our HR pretty much as soon as I had my diagnosis. No issues at all. Officially my job category is meant to be in the office one day a week, they did me an email saying "Sporky has to be in the office if there is a task or activity that requires Sporky to be in the office". So that's the monthly sales team day (I'm sales-adjacent), and an in-person meeting for some other reason a few times a year.
If you tell them then legally they have to make reasonable adjustments. So if you do, it's worth having a list of things that are difficult and suggestions if how they could be made less difficult. Also a list of the upsides (fer instance ability to hyper-focus, attention to detail, etc).
I'd say it's also worth thinking about whether you want it public. I started with only a handful of people knowing, but told them it wasn't a secret. Eventually I went full public. In every case people were nice to me.
I told our HR pretty much as soon as I had my diagnosis. No issues at all. Officially my job category is meant to be in the office one day a week, they did me an email saying "Sporky has to be in the office if there is a task or activity that requires Sporky to be in the office". So that's the monthly sales team day (I'm sales-adjacent), and an in-person meeting for some other reason a few times a year.
If you tell them then legally they have to make reasonable adjustments. So if you do, it's worth having a list of things that are difficult and suggestions if how they could be made less difficult. Also a list of the upsides (fer instance ability to hyper-focus, attention to detail, etc).
I'd say it's also worth thinking about whether you want it public. I started with only a handful of people knowing, but told them it wasn't a secret. Eventually I went full public. In every case people were nice to me.
Sporky said:
Hard to say without knowing your employer and importance to them.
I told our HR pretty much as soon as I had my diagnosis. No issues at all. Officially my job category is meant to be in the office one day a week, they did me an email saying "Sporky has to be in the office if there is a task or activity that requires Sporky to be in the office". So that's the monthly sales team day (I'm sales-adjacent), and an in-person meeting for some other reason a few times a year.
If you tell them then legally they have to make reasonable adjustments. So if you do, it's worth having a list of things that are difficult and suggestions if how they could be made less difficult. Also a list of the upsides (fer instance ability to hyper-focus, attention to detail, etc).
I'd say it's also worth thinking about whether you want it public. I started with only a handful of people knowing, but told them it wasn't a secret. Eventually I went full public. In every case people were nice to me.
Thanks. I know that I'm important to the company - there are clear indications of that, so I know it is in their interests that I don't decide to leave - not that working elsewhere would solve it for me anyway.I told our HR pretty much as soon as I had my diagnosis. No issues at all. Officially my job category is meant to be in the office one day a week, they did me an email saying "Sporky has to be in the office if there is a task or activity that requires Sporky to be in the office". So that's the monthly sales team day (I'm sales-adjacent), and an in-person meeting for some other reason a few times a year.
If you tell them then legally they have to make reasonable adjustments. So if you do, it's worth having a list of things that are difficult and suggestions if how they could be made less difficult. Also a list of the upsides (fer instance ability to hyper-focus, attention to detail, etc).
I'd say it's also worth thinking about whether you want it public. I started with only a handful of people knowing, but told them it wasn't a secret. Eventually I went full public. In every case people were nice to me.
I'll give it some thought. I have no issue with HR knowing really, but I am not at all keen on my colleagues knowing. Although, I am well aware that my general behaviour and crap interaction with people marks me out as 'different', and almost certainly 'difficult' so it's not like I'm blending in!
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