ADHD - Adults

[shirt]

GiantCardboardPlato said:

If you want to see a psychiatrist (I preferred to, personally) there is no reason you can’t though, it will just be more expensive privately. I have a letter about 20 pages long detailing the diagnosis.

Same. My parents were also interviewed over teams.

As for the git punch thing, i hear you. I cried reading my diagnosis.

[jm8403]

Teddy Lop said:

I saw someone quite high end (does expert witness stuff etc) and was in for 2-3 grand with scrips etc, but basically still only got a 90 minute chat assessment. From my understanding if you're "coping", and coping seems to be defined as broadly as you're not a utter liability and manage to eat and dress yourself, there's not much more than try you on the various pills they can do for you. Thus my advice to anyone would be get it wherever it's cheapest. I've heard of GPs that'll prescribe the pills as a trial before committing someone to the expenditure of the diagnosis.

So the local private place is charging 500quid for the assessment, 1 to 1 therapy is then 145quid a session. I will call BUPA to understand if they can support the costs without going to GP or not. Cheapest might be via GP, but that could take years, not months.

I am OK with 500 quid as an assessment as it is having such a huge impact on my work/life.

Sorry to derail OP, didn't see sense in two threads.

[Teddy Lop]

jm8403 said:

Teddy Lop said:

I saw someone quite high end (does expert witness stuff etc) and was in for 2-3 grand with scrips etc, but basically still only got a 90 minute chat assessment. From my understanding if you're "coping", and coping seems to be defined as broadly as you're not a utter liability and manage to eat and dress yourself, there's not much more than try you on the various pills they can do for you. Thus my advice to anyone would be get it wherever it's cheapest. I've heard of GPs that'll prescribe the pills as a trial before committing someone to the expenditure of the diagnosis.

So the local private place is charging 500quid for the assessment, 1 to 1 therapy is then 145quid a session. I will call BUPA to understand if they can support the costs without going to GP or not. Cheapest might be via GP, but that could take years, not months.

I am OK with 500 quid as an assessment as it is having such a huge impact on my work/life.

Sorry to derail OP, didn't see sense in two threads.

Generally "years" is all you'll get from the NHS, even when multiple of their people are concurring you definitely appear to have this. It's amazing how many layers the NHS employ to help stop you having the thing you need. But you won't get it cheap so might as well bite the bullet, don't get stuck up on being entitled to free nhs healthcare. For me I was in a place where I was making mistakes and having to question whether it was safe for me to continue in my work, and as someone self employed with clients relying on my judgement and aptitude at what point the moral compass dictates that. So the costs paled.

If you think you have it you probably do. These kinds of things are increasing and I and others have got some ideas why.

[jm8403]

Teddy Lop said:

Generally "years" is all you'll get from the NHS, even when multiple of their people are concurring you definitely appear to have this. It's amazing how many layers the NHS employ to help stop you having the thing you need. But you won't get it cheap so might as well bite the bullet, don't get stuck up on being entitled to free nhs healthcare. For me I was in a place where I was making mistakes and having to question whether it was safe for me to continue in my work, and as someone self employed with clients relying on my judgement and aptitude at what point the moral compass dictates that. So the costs paled.

If you think you have it you probably do. These kinds of things are increasing and I and others have got some ideas why.

Main issues: extreme struggle with focus, extremely low motivation, close to impossible to make myself take my laundry out, close to impossible to make myself food shop/cook, tidying, again very difficult but I dont live like a slob. Do you believe its due to modern lifestyles/diet or something else?

[Speed Badger]

Speed Badger said:

michaelT99 said:

Speed Badger said:

My friend has ADHD and suffers with anxiety. We arranged to meet for a coffee and a chinwag the other day and I arrived at the time we were going to meet and she wasn't there. No probs, she is often bad with timekeeping and getting distracted. Half an hour went by and I messaged, nothing. Then I called, no answer. We were supposed to meet at 1:30 pm, at just gone 3pm she finally messaged saying she had been panicking and that she was a waste of time and to not bother with her. I tried reassuring her it's all good and she's worth it etc. I waited another hour until 4pm but had to go to pick up my daughter.

My question is, do any of you recognise this behaviour and feelings from her in your own selves? What can I do to reassure and understand her issues?

I said later that day it's ok we will try again another day and that I'm not giving up on her. She said I'm one of the nicest people she's ever met and don't know why I keep bothering with her. I said some people are worth bothering with!

Exactly what I used to do, whether it's posting a parcel or filling in a form etc.
So the deadline gets closer anxiety rises the dead line is closer still the anxiety gets higher until it snowballs out of control, the anxiety takes over then you've lost the battle, you feel useless, valueless.
Maybe set a date and a time, go to pick her up but turn up half hour earlier before the anxiety sets in, it maybe worth a try I guess.

That's really helpful to know that, thank you Michael, feels comforting to know these symptoms are something others have as well. My friend is quite a 'new' friend, like we've become friends in the last 6 months and it's been challenging trying to understand her issues.

It's been hard with my own issues, feeling like she doesn't want to know me one minute then almost 'love bombing' (in a friend way) the next. She's a really amazing person and has an autistic son as well, so there's lots going on with her, but she has a heart of gold and from a personal point of view has added so much fun and laughter into my life.

Picking her up sounds like a good idea

Well we've arranged to meet tomorrow, my friend already has an appointment in the town we have scheduled to meet in so that should hopefully go some way to easing her anxieties and putting her in the right place at the right time. Fingers crossed the panic monkey is kept in its cage, I've reassured her that there's no stress and if it all works out then good, if not then we will try again another time and I'll wait for her for however long it takes

Edited by Speed Badger on Tuesday 14th March 21:10

[Woodrow Wilson]

jm8403 said:

Main issues: extreme struggle with focus, extremely low motivation, close to impossible to make myself take my laundry out, close to impossible to make myself food shop/cook, tidying, again very difficult but I dont live like a slob. Do you believe its due to modern lifestyles/diet or something else?

I have read that it is basically an issue around needing to be stimulated.

People like that/us must always have existed (there do appear to have been traits of it in my family. Bright people who didn't really appear to achieve much as might have been expected in their work life). Modern life takes away a lot of the spontaneity of human existence, though (Almost everything is pre-planned, ordered and systemised -some of it is helpful, of course).

Having said that, I'm not sure how I'd have coped with working 6 long days a week in a coal mine or cotton mill in the 19th century either.

Personally, I am great at seeing something that I could do/make/fix, then being unable to think of other things and beavering away at it until finished. As a result I know a lot about many things and have a wide range of skills. I can respond quickly and calmly to events that arise and will have a go at things.

I am definitely not as good at doing things that "need" (or others/wife think need) doing, though.

Shopping, cooking or tidying are missed/rushed due to a lack of time, but without time pressure they won't happen either.....

I have improved, though, with assistance from medication and making better use of lists.

[KTMsm]

Woodrow Wilson said:

I have read that it is basically an issue around needing to be stimulated.

People like that/us must always have existed

Having said that, I'm not sure how I'd have coped with working 6 long days a week in a coal mine or cotton mill in the 19th century either.

Personally, I am great at seeing something that I could do/make/fix

I know a lot about many things and have a wide range of skills. I can respond quickly and calmly to events that arise and will have a go at things.

I thought it had been mentioned in the thread but that's why ADHD people are attracted to jobs like:

Soldiers, builders, Police - those were the jobs I considered as there was no way I could sit inside all day

[GiantCardboardPlato]

ADHD/professor… brutal

[Speed Badger]

Speed Badger said:

Speed Badger said:

michaelT99 said:

Speed Badger said:

My friend has ADHD and suffers with anxiety. We arranged to meet for a coffee and a chinwag the other day and I arrived at the time we were going to meet and she wasn't there. No probs, she is often bad with timekeeping and getting distracted. Half an hour went by and I messaged, nothing. Then I called, no answer. We were supposed to meet at 1:30 pm, at just gone 3pm she finally messaged saying she had been panicking and that she was a waste of time and to not bother with her. I tried reassuring her it's all good and she's worth it etc. I waited another hour until 4pm but had to go to pick up my daughter.

My question is, do any of you recognise this behaviour and feelings from her in your own selves? What can I do to reassure and understand her issues?

I said later that day it's ok we will try again another day and that I'm not giving up on her. She said I'm one of the nicest people she's ever met and don't know why I keep bothering with her. I said some people are worth bothering with!

Exactly what I used to do, whether it's posting a parcel or filling in a form etc.
So the deadline gets closer anxiety rises the dead line is closer still the anxiety gets higher until it snowballs out of control, the anxiety takes over then you've lost the battle, you feel useless, valueless.
Maybe set a date and a time, go to pick her up but turn up half hour earlier before the anxiety sets in, it maybe worth a try I guess.

That's really helpful to know that, thank you Michael, feels comforting to know these symptoms are something others have as well. My friend is quite a 'new' friend, like we've become friends in the last 6 months and it's been challenging trying to understand her issues.

It's been hard with my own issues, feeling like she doesn't want to know me one minute then almost 'love bombing' (in a friend way) the next. She's a really amazing person and has an autistic son as well, so there's lots going on with her, but she has a heart of gold and from a personal point of view has added so much fun and laughter into my life.

Picking her up sounds like a good idea

Well we've arranged to meet tomorrow, my friend already has an appointment in the town we have scheduled to meet in so that should hopefully go some way to easing her anxieties and putting her in the right place at the right time. Fingers crossed the panic monkey is kept in its cage, I've reassured her that there's no stress and if it all works out then good, if not then we will try again another time and I'll wait for her for however long it takes

Edited by Speed Badger on Tuesday 14th March 21:10

Just to tie this one up, I met my friend no problem and we had a lovely lunch together and a couple of drinks in a bar later on. She double dosed on her meds to help with the anxiety and we really had a great time

[jm8403]

Speed Badger said:

Just to tie this one up, I met my friend no problem and we had a lovely lunch together and a couple of drinks in a bar later on. She double dosed on her meds to help with the anxiety and we really had a great time

Great stuff - you did the right thing. good man.

[sparkyhx]

shirt said:

Also estimate I spent 5-6k on various shrinks ahead of the correct diagnosis.

thats way over the top for general guideline

- Diagnosis £600-1k ish
- prescriptions and titration another £500 ish - after that you need shared care. If not, then the medication cost will be monthly £100-200

[Teddy Lop]

jm8403 said:

Teddy Lop said:

Generally "years" is all you'll get from the NHS, even when multiple of their people are concurring you definitely appear to have this. It's amazing how many layers the NHS employ to help stop you having the thing you need. But you won't get it cheap so might as well bite the bullet, don't get stuck up on being entitled to free nhs healthcare. For me I was in a place where I was making mistakes and having to question whether it was safe for me to continue in my work, and as someone self employed with clients relying on my judgement and aptitude at what point the moral compass dictates that. So the costs paled.

If you think you have it you probably do. These kinds of things are increasing and I and others have got some ideas why.

Main issues: extreme struggle with focus, extremely low motivation, close to impossible to make myself take my laundry out, close to impossible to make myself food shop/cook, tidying, again very difficult but I dont live like a slob. Do you believe its due to modern lifestyles/diet or something else?

I'm not entirely sure; my grand unified theory is not yet complete, but I think there's a lot bleeding into it: modern lifestyles covers a lot and lack of discipline, social media, attention-grab culture, are all components revealing themselves to be contributors to the issue, even mobile phone screen use is being shown to narrow the minds focus as it narrows the vision. One of my personal thoughts is the way we celebrate/focus individuality makes us find stuff in ourselves that would be overlooked or repressed in other times/cultures is responsible the uptick.

My own thoughts pre diagnosis might be interesting: https://www.pistonheads.com/gassing/topic.asp?h=0&... AD medication has helped some areas but is not fixing things. I have a feeling part of the answer could lie in discipline; it'd be interesting to see a plot of what AD/ASD etc types have in the way of both implimented and voluntary disciplinary and belief structure in their life, contrasted to the neuro typical .

[pherlopolus]

I am 51 and was diagnosed last week end, and have just finished my first week on elvanse 30mg. What kicked me into action was my the more generally available information and sharing of experiences - and a daughter who is doing a psychology degree also with suspected ADHD now!

I am so glad I went private as the improvement on symptoms has been dramatic and there was no way I could have waited much longer without some serious life impact, things seem to have got worse through the Pandemic and some issues over the last 18 months.

My snacking has dropped off, I am virtually completely off caffeine, and my general anxiety is reduced. The best bit is the speed bump in my brain that stopped me doing stuff is largely gone (not completely, and I still lose stuff). I haven’t had the “shook up bottle of pop with lid jammed on” feeling this week either.

It’s amazing having to look back and see the reason I did some of the things i did or acted were as a result of ADHD. To the extent that I am trying too work out what of my interests were actual interests or just trying to search out dopamine.

As a managing director of a multi million pound company it is now refreshing to be able to sit through hour+ meetings without having the urge to run away or doom scroll on my phone.

Obviously everything in the past has got me to where I am, and I wouldn’t change it for the world, but you do start asking the “what could have been” question.

[jm8403]

pherlopolus said:

I am 51 and was diagnosed last week end, and have just finished my first week on elvanse 30mg. What kicked me into action was my the more generally available information and sharing of experiences - and a daughter who is doing a psychology degree also with suspected ADHD now!

I am so glad I went private as the improvement on symptoms has been dramatic and there was no way I could have waited much longer without some serious life impact, things seem to have got worse through the Pandemic and some issues over the last 18 months.

My snacking has dropped off, I am virtually completely off caffeine, and my general anxiety is reduced. The best bit is the speed bump in my brain that stopped me doing stuff is largely gone (not completely, and I still lose stuff). I haven’t had the “shook up bottle of pop with lid jammed on” feeling this week either.

It’s amazing having to look back and see the reason I did some of the things i did or acted were as a result of ADHD. To the extent that I am trying too work out what of my interests were actual interests or just trying to search out dopamine.

As a managing director of a multi million pound company it is now refreshing to be able to sit through hour+ meetings without having the urge to run away or doom scroll on my phone.

Obviously everything in the past has got me to where I am, and I wouldn’t change it for the world, but you do start asking the “what could have been” question.

Amazing, as you say, better late than never. And the fact you have got so far, shows it was probably a power too

[pherlopolus]

jm8403 said:

Amazing, as you say, better late than never. And the fact you have got so far, shows it was probably a power too

Exactly, before current career I spent nearlt 30 years in IT split between a pre sales role made up of many short bids (3-6 months) with incredibly short deadlines, and as an IT contractor on shortish contracts. If a contract started heading past 9 months my interest/performance dropped so I generally moved on. I worked out I had worked at over 25 companies, and 2 of those I was there for 3 and 11 years 😂

Been doing the curent stuff since 2019, and we are coming out of the exciting startup phase, and basically I employed people to fill the gaps in my interest to the extent I am generally working on CRM, expansion and fluffy cloud stuff only.

It's been a journey!

[Hugo Stiglitz]

jm8403 said:

pherlopolus said:

I am 51 and was diagnosed last week end, and have just finished my first week on elvanse 30mg. What kicked me into action was my the more generally available information and sharing of experiences - and a daughter who is doing a psychology degree also with suspected ADHD now!

I am so glad I went private as the improvement on symptoms has been dramatic and there was no way I could have waited much longer without some serious life impact, things seem to have got worse through the Pandemic and some issues over the last 18 months.

My snacking has dropped off, I am virtually completely off caffeine, and my general anxiety is reduced. The best bit is the speed bump in my brain that stopped me doing stuff is largely gone (not completely, and I still lose stuff). I haven’t had the “shook up bottle of pop with lid jammed on” feeling this week either.

It’s amazing having to look back and see the reason I did some of the things i did or acted were as a result of ADHD. To the extent that I am trying too work out what of my interests were actual interests or just trying to search out dopamine.

As a managing director of a multi million pound company it is now refreshing to be able to sit through hour+ meetings without having the urge to run away or doom scroll on my phone.

Obviously everything in the past has got me to where I am, and I wouldn’t change it for the world, but you do start asking the “what could have been” question.

Amazing, as you say, better late than never. And the fact you have got so far, shows it was probably a power too

Be careful of drinking coffee and Elvanse. It can really flip up anxiety levels if mixed.

[pherlopolus]

I am completely off coffee, I have a can of Diet Coke mid afternoon. It might be because my dose needs upping I guess. I do notice a tail off mid afternoon (leg jiggles and phone usage)

[Hugo Stiglitz]

pherlopolus said:

I am completely off coffee, I have a can of Diet Coke mid afternoon. It might be because my dose needs upping I guess. I do notice a tail off mid afternoon (leg jiggles and phone usage)

Dosage as yours will tail off at the 10hr point.

[Bloxxcreative]

I was going to propose Elv to my Dr, but I have 4 or 5 coffees a day as one of my little pleasures so that'd be some trade off.

[pherlopolus]

I used to have 2 cups of coffee (we have a been to cup machine in office) and 2-3 cans of diet coke during day. I don't even think about having coffee anymore, even from day 1.

As I say, the weird thing is somethings I enjoyed don't appeal so much now.

Hoping with warmer weather I won't have lost enjoyment of motorbike!