Discussion
heisthegaffer said:
We do have both LPAs in place although my stepmum has phoned the doctors to tell them not to talk to us which is infuriating.
We have access to my dad's bank accounts.. We see he draws about a few hundred quid out 2 or 3 times a week... No idea where it goes. Worryingly.
My dad did this with alarming regularity-would have nearly two grand in his wallet sometimes-I’d take it off him and pay it back in and the cycle would continue We have access to my dad's bank accounts.. We see he draws about a few hundred quid out 2 or 3 times a week... No idea where it goes. Worryingly.
My nephew found his wallet laying on the grass outside the house with 1700 quid in it ffs.
I think he liked to keep drawing money out because he knew how to hop on the bus to town,and knew how to go to the bank to draw it out, and it gave him something to do…
and31 said:
heisthegaffer said:
We do have both LPAs in place although my stepmum has phoned the doctors to tell them not to talk to us which is infuriating.
We have access to my dad's bank accounts.. We see he draws about a few hundred quid out 2 or 3 times a week... No idea where it goes. Worryingly.
My dad did this with alarming regularity-would have nearly two grand in his wallet sometimes-I’d take it off him and pay it back in and the cycle would continue We have access to my dad's bank accounts.. We see he draws about a few hundred quid out 2 or 3 times a week... No idea where it goes. Worryingly.
My nephew found his wallet laying on the grass outside the house with 1700 quid in it ffs.
I think he liked to keep drawing money out because he knew how to hop on the bus to town,and knew how to go to the bank to draw it out, and it gave him something to do…
I don't really mind, I do worry someone will spot him and take advantage though.
There are some banking apps that can help with LPA/ dementia, was listening to something recently on Radio4 about it.
I think its Sibstar
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-hampshire-68...
I think its Sibstar
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-hampshire-68...
heisthegaffer said:
and31 said:
heisthegaffer said:
We do have both LPAs in place although my stepmum has phoned the doctors to tell them not to talk to us which is infuriating.
We have access to my dad's bank accounts.. We see he draws about a few hundred quid out 2 or 3 times a week... No idea where it goes. Worryingly.
My dad did this with alarming regularity-would have nearly two grand in his wallet sometimes-I’d take it off him and pay it back in and the cycle would continue We have access to my dad's bank accounts.. We see he draws about a few hundred quid out 2 or 3 times a week... No idea where it goes. Worryingly.
My nephew found his wallet laying on the grass outside the house with 1700 quid in it ffs.
I think he liked to keep drawing money out because he knew how to hop on the bus to town,and knew how to go to the bank to draw it out, and it gave him something to do…
I don't really mind, I do worry someone will spot him and take advantage though.
It's only been tested on mice so far, but a supplement used by bodybuilders has shown promising results with dementia. HMB is safe, cheap and easily available.
I'm surprised there aren't any human studies for dementia yet.
https://www.acsh.org/news/2023/08/11/hmb-muscle-bu...
I'm surprised there aren't any human studies for dementia yet.
https://www.acsh.org/news/2023/08/11/hmb-muscle-bu...
I work with Dementia patients a lot, from the early stages involving initial memory testing, to reviewing in the community after diagnosis, and then also in the care home setting. If anyone has any questions or needs advice I am happy to try and help. Can be discreet, via DM if needed.
We’re now 10 months into the wait for the memory clinic for mum. To say it’s a lonely wait is an understatement. We’ve pieced bits of help together from the most unlikely of places- the queue for returns at John Lewis, a supermarket in the middle of the night- the support from people in the same position is incredible but it feels like Chinese whispers and illicit meetings. Absolutely ridiculous.
I don’t know what’s going to happen but it’s a s
t show. My heart goes out to everyone who is stuck on this bloody awful ride.
I don’t know what’s going to happen but it’s a s
t show. My heart goes out to everyone who is stuck on this bloody awful ride. littlegreenfairy said:
We’re now 10 months into the wait for the memory clinic for mum. To say it’s a lonely wait is an understatement. We’ve pieced bits of help together from the most unlikely of places- the queue for returns at John Lewis, a supermarket in the middle of the night- the support from people in the same position is incredible but it feels like Chinese whispers and illicit meetings. Absolutely ridiculous.
I don’t know what’s going to happen but it’s a st show. My heart goes out to everyone who is stuck on this bloody awful ride.
My dad had the Memory clinic test during COVID. I thought it was significant enough for me to return from the US to be there. That meant lots of COVID tests which had to be witnessed. The woman conducting the evaluation was a good Northern woman. She turned to me and saidI don’t know what’s going to happen but it’s a s
t show. My heart goes out to everyone who is stuck on this bloody awful ride. "Yup, he's got impairment. But, we knew that didn't we? Eees got bloody dementia. Not much we can do about that."
That was it. She was right though. I am not sure what I was expecting. A miracle cure? There are no miracles with dementia. The assessment made the local authority aware of my dad and that part was necessary for future steps in his care.
Ruskie said:
I work with Dementia patients a lot, from the early stages involving initial memory testing, to reviewing in the community after diagnosis, and then also in the care home setting. If anyone has any questions or needs advice I am happy to try and help. Can be discreet, via DM if needed.
qThanks mate and thanks all for your words and experiences.
So tough but we have to roll with the punches.
Ruskie said:
I work with Dementia patients a lot, from the early stages involving initial memory testing, to reviewing in the community after diagnosis, and then also in the care home setting. If anyone has any questions or needs advice I am happy to try and help. Can be discreet, via DM if needed.
This is why I spend time on PistonHeads. Thank you.My father died of Alzheimers in September 2022, about 5 years after diagnosis. Alzheimers will eventually affect the operation of the home.
During that last summer he had gone into respite; my mother is a paraplegic (they had been caring for each other since her "accident" in 2017, a few months before his diagnosis), and she had some issues that needed hospitalisation.
While in the nursing home, he had a fall, which the home never told us about until I went to collect him, and found he was basically semi comatose. After his fall, he was taken to hospital for the day, and discharged, in this semi-sleeping state. And he was like that for about 3-4 days without the family knowing.
Initially, the cardiologist wanted him to be fitted with a pacemaker. The Alzheimers was basically affecting how the heart beat. The initial reaction is natural; why wouldn't you fit a pace maker? My mother, a retired nurse, vetod the idea, and said he should remain at home and be comfortable. She knew the end was coming, and if he had a pacemaker fitted, it was likely he wouldn't get out of surgery, and if he did, the leads would distress him, and probably he would never survive to be discharged. The Consultant agreed.
I was shocked to find out that in the UK, the majority of pacemakers are fitted to patients with dementia. Its the same in the US. Eventually, its only the pacemaker keeping the patient alive, and families have had to appeal to the Courts to get the thing turned off, and allow nature to take its course.
She was right. He lasted 4 more weeks at home. He remained in bed, he was comfortable. In the last week, the swallowing flex stopped. The carers did their best, but were hopeless at correctly positioning him, and as a result, he developed sores. He went in his sleep with me sitting by his side, holding his hand. Until that last night, he would always grip my hand. While semi conscious, we could have conversations, usually about the Arsenal, and the results. That last night, he stopped grasping my hand, and the conversation stopped, just noises. The last thing I did for him, at my mother's insistance, was to put his false teeth in. (the back of his head was still warm). He had been seen by a GP a few days before, so there was no need for PM. Arrangements had been made to keep him at home until the funeral. Though after a few days, he was a bit ripe, and I needed mum to let me (or rather the funeral directors) put on the lid.
We're at least lucky that he remembered everyone to the end. On that last day, my brother and his kids visited. He last words were literally bye bye.
So I would be wary, if you have a relative with dementia, about suggestions of pacemakers or implantable difibrilators.
One further thing; music is wonderful. Before he had his fall, I would sit with him in the living room. The TV would be on, but he couldn't see a thing due to a combination of macular degeneration, but also the Alzheimers robs you of understanding what you are looking at. One of the channels was all day music, from different eras. Listening to music can unlock a few things, temporarily. And, its not, as you might think, music from one's youth. One of the episodes was music of the 80s, when he was in his 40s, with a growing family, living in Bahrain. He'd listen to the songs, humming along, so that's one part of the brain stimulated, he would tap his feet, so another part, and he would remember when he heard the song; on Radio Bahrain's Hot 100. Normally his conversatio would increasingly be about the same anecdotes from when he was young (eg air raid shelter). I think it was just his way to be part of the conversation. he was a former lab scientist, ex-RAMC biochemist in the path labs. My own background is a PhD in microbiology. Suddenly when listening to this 80s music, we would engage in conversation about his job, not only that, but in an abstract way. We were talking about Covid testing, and he started thinking about how those tests worked, in relation to the sorts of tests he did in the lab. I thought it was remarkable. The memories were not gone; he was still there, but it was so much harder for him to retrieve those memories and capacity. In an Alzheimers patient, the loss of brain (atrophy) becomes pretty apparent in scans. So for him to suddenly start discussion how COVID ELISA testing was carried out just demonstrated how remarkable the brain is. And maybe there might be a cure, of sorts, in the future. Didn't always work out like that though.
Now I'm going through it again with my mother, though she is now in a nursing home. She has been a paraplegic since 2017, following a staph infection near the spinal cord and a bit of GP incompetance (prescribing morphine to a patient with a sore back who was immunocompromised following cancer treatment 20 years earlier. Morphine depresses the immune response. The GP failed to recognise the bad back coupled with a fever should have triggered an emergency scan, followed by emergency spinal decompression).
For the last 7 years, she has been in constant pain, due to the plates in her back, plus issues related to a failed colostomy, and bladder infections. The pain has never been managed (pain management is largely a fiction). After my father died, things were tough for her, mentally and physically, resulting in 17 admissions during 2023 largely due to pain, and a botched missed surgery due to a NHS scheduling mixup. The constant pain has affected the parts of the brain that relate to how you deal with pain, and it changed her reaction to pain to being basically delusional. She eventually went into Discharge to Assess, a hangover from COVID (patients are discharged to a nursing home before going home). She never went home. A psychiatrist believes she may have Lowey Body Dementia, though he's referred her for scans. Ironically, when she went for the scan, the hospital turned her away because she was on a stretcher. Because she is waiting for a scan, her pain medication cannot be altered.
She has full continuing healthcare, which means the NHS fully funds her at the nursing home. In theory, she is supposed to be undergoing rehab. Of course she isn't, and she will never return home.
Leaving a slightly awkward situation. Because she is not self-funding, her house doesn't need to be sold. I have full LPA, but I can't really sell her house as its her house, and she still thinks she is going home. The backgarden is overgrown now, because the mower broke. I will need to deal with that, but not sure how many years this will go on for, keeping the house in some sort of order. It gives me a base for when I visit. She's still paying council tax (refunded when its formally declared she ain't going home).
During that last summer he had gone into respite; my mother is a paraplegic (they had been caring for each other since her "accident" in 2017, a few months before his diagnosis), and she had some issues that needed hospitalisation.
While in the nursing home, he had a fall, which the home never told us about until I went to collect him, and found he was basically semi comatose. After his fall, he was taken to hospital for the day, and discharged, in this semi-sleeping state. And he was like that for about 3-4 days without the family knowing.
Initially, the cardiologist wanted him to be fitted with a pacemaker. The Alzheimers was basically affecting how the heart beat. The initial reaction is natural; why wouldn't you fit a pace maker? My mother, a retired nurse, vetod the idea, and said he should remain at home and be comfortable. She knew the end was coming, and if he had a pacemaker fitted, it was likely he wouldn't get out of surgery, and if he did, the leads would distress him, and probably he would never survive to be discharged. The Consultant agreed.
I was shocked to find out that in the UK, the majority of pacemakers are fitted to patients with dementia. Its the same in the US. Eventually, its only the pacemaker keeping the patient alive, and families have had to appeal to the Courts to get the thing turned off, and allow nature to take its course.
She was right. He lasted 4 more weeks at home. He remained in bed, he was comfortable. In the last week, the swallowing flex stopped. The carers did their best, but were hopeless at correctly positioning him, and as a result, he developed sores. He went in his sleep with me sitting by his side, holding his hand. Until that last night, he would always grip my hand. While semi conscious, we could have conversations, usually about the Arsenal, and the results. That last night, he stopped grasping my hand, and the conversation stopped, just noises. The last thing I did for him, at my mother's insistance, was to put his false teeth in. (the back of his head was still warm). He had been seen by a GP a few days before, so there was no need for PM. Arrangements had been made to keep him at home until the funeral. Though after a few days, he was a bit ripe, and I needed mum to let me (or rather the funeral directors) put on the lid.
We're at least lucky that he remembered everyone to the end. On that last day, my brother and his kids visited. He last words were literally bye bye.
So I would be wary, if you have a relative with dementia, about suggestions of pacemakers or implantable difibrilators.
One further thing; music is wonderful. Before he had his fall, I would sit with him in the living room. The TV would be on, but he couldn't see a thing due to a combination of macular degeneration, but also the Alzheimers robs you of understanding what you are looking at. One of the channels was all day music, from different eras. Listening to music can unlock a few things, temporarily. And, its not, as you might think, music from one's youth. One of the episodes was music of the 80s, when he was in his 40s, with a growing family, living in Bahrain. He'd listen to the songs, humming along, so that's one part of the brain stimulated, he would tap his feet, so another part, and he would remember when he heard the song; on Radio Bahrain's Hot 100. Normally his conversatio would increasingly be about the same anecdotes from when he was young (eg air raid shelter). I think it was just his way to be part of the conversation. he was a former lab scientist, ex-RAMC biochemist in the path labs. My own background is a PhD in microbiology. Suddenly when listening to this 80s music, we would engage in conversation about his job, not only that, but in an abstract way. We were talking about Covid testing, and he started thinking about how those tests worked, in relation to the sorts of tests he did in the lab. I thought it was remarkable. The memories were not gone; he was still there, but it was so much harder for him to retrieve those memories and capacity. In an Alzheimers patient, the loss of brain (atrophy) becomes pretty apparent in scans. So for him to suddenly start discussion how COVID ELISA testing was carried out just demonstrated how remarkable the brain is. And maybe there might be a cure, of sorts, in the future. Didn't always work out like that though.
Now I'm going through it again with my mother, though she is now in a nursing home. She has been a paraplegic since 2017, following a staph infection near the spinal cord and a bit of GP incompetance (prescribing morphine to a patient with a sore back who was immunocompromised following cancer treatment 20 years earlier. Morphine depresses the immune response. The GP failed to recognise the bad back coupled with a fever should have triggered an emergency scan, followed by emergency spinal decompression).
For the last 7 years, she has been in constant pain, due to the plates in her back, plus issues related to a failed colostomy, and bladder infections. The pain has never been managed (pain management is largely a fiction). After my father died, things were tough for her, mentally and physically, resulting in 17 admissions during 2023 largely due to pain, and a botched missed surgery due to a NHS scheduling mixup. The constant pain has affected the parts of the brain that relate to how you deal with pain, and it changed her reaction to pain to being basically delusional. She eventually went into Discharge to Assess, a hangover from COVID (patients are discharged to a nursing home before going home). She never went home. A psychiatrist believes she may have Lowey Body Dementia, though he's referred her for scans. Ironically, when she went for the scan, the hospital turned her away because she was on a stretcher. Because she is waiting for a scan, her pain medication cannot be altered.
She has full continuing healthcare, which means the NHS fully funds her at the nursing home. In theory, she is supposed to be undergoing rehab. Of course she isn't, and she will never return home.
Leaving a slightly awkward situation. Because she is not self-funding, her house doesn't need to be sold. I have full LPA, but I can't really sell her house as its her house, and she still thinks she is going home. The backgarden is overgrown now, because the mower broke. I will need to deal with that, but not sure how many years this will go on for, keeping the house in some sort of order. It gives me a base for when I visit. She's still paying council tax (refunded when its formally declared she ain't going home).
Risonax said:
My father died of Alzheimers in September 2022, about 5 years after diagnosis. Alzheimers will eventually affect the operation of the home.
During that last summer he had gone into respite; my mother is a paraplegic (they had been caring for each other since her "accident" in 2017, a few months before his diagnosis), and she had some issues that needed hospitalisation.
While in the nursing home, he had a fall, which the home never told us about until I went to collect him, and found he was basically semi comatose. After his fall, he was taken to hospital for the day, and discharged, in this semi-sleeping state. And he was like that for about 3-4 days without the family knowing.
Initially, the cardiologist wanted him to be fitted with a pacemaker. The Alzheimers was basically affecting how the heart beat. The initial reaction is natural; why wouldn't you fit a pace maker? My mother, a retired nurse, vetod the idea, and said he should remain at home and be comfortable. She knew the end was coming, and if he had a pacemaker fitted, it was likely he wouldn't get out of surgery, and if he did, the leads would distress him, and probably he would never survive to be discharged. The Consultant agreed.
I was shocked to find out that in the UK, the majority of pacemakers are fitted to patients with dementia. Its the same in the US. Eventually, its only the pacemaker keeping the patient alive, and families have had to appeal to the Courts to get the thing turned off, and allow nature to take its course.
She was right. He lasted 4 more weeks at home. He remained in bed, he was comfortable. In the last week, the swallowing flex stopped. The carers did their best, but were hopeless at correctly positioning him, and as a result, he developed sores. He went in his sleep with me sitting by his side, holding his hand. Until that last night, he would always grip my hand. While semi conscious, we could have conversations, usually about the Arsenal, and the results. That last night, he stopped grasping my hand, and the conversation stopped, just noises. The last thing I did for him, at my mother's insistance, was to put his false teeth in. (the back of his head was still warm). He had been seen by a GP a few days before, so there was no need for PM. Arrangements had been made to keep him at home until the funeral. Though after a few days, he was a bit ripe, and I needed mum to let me (or rather the funeral directors) put on the lid.
We're at least lucky that he remembered everyone to the end. On that last day, my brother and his kids visited. He last words were literally bye bye.
So I would be wary, if you have a relative with dementia, about suggestions of pacemakers or implantable difibrilators.
One further thing; music is wonderful. Before he had his fall, I would sit with him in the living room. The TV would be on, but he couldn't see a thing due to a combination of macular degeneration, but also the Alzheimers robs you of understanding what you are looking at. One of the channels was all day music, from different eras. Listening to music can unlock a few things, temporarily. And, its not, as you might think, music from one's youth. One of the episodes was music of the 80s, when he was in his 40s, with a growing family, living in Bahrain. He'd listen to the songs, humming along, so that's one part of the brain stimulated, he would tap his feet, so another part, and he would remember when he heard the song; on Radio Bahrain's Hot 100. Normally his conversatio would increasingly be about the same anecdotes from when he was young (eg air raid shelter). I think it was just his way to be part of the conversation. he was a former lab scientist, ex-RAMC biochemist in the path labs. My own background is a PhD in microbiology. Suddenly when listening to this 80s music, we would engage in conversation about his job, not only that, but in an abstract way. We were talking about Covid testing, and he started thinking about how those tests worked, in relation to the sorts of tests he did in the lab. I thought it was remarkable. The memories were not gone; he was still there, but it was so much harder for him to retrieve those memories and capacity. In an Alzheimers patient, the loss of brain (atrophy) becomes pretty apparent in scans. So for him to suddenly start discussion how COVID ELISA testing was carried out just demonstrated how remarkable the brain is. And maybe there might be a cure, of sorts, in the future. Didn't always work out like that though.
Now I'm going through it again with my mother, though she is now in a nursing home. She has been a paraplegic since 2017, following a staph infection near the spinal cord and a bit of GP incompetance (prescribing morphine to a patient with a sore back who was immunocompromised following cancer treatment 20 years earlier. Morphine depresses the immune response. The GP failed to recognise the bad back coupled with a fever should have triggered an emergency scan, followed by emergency spinal decompression).
For the last 7 years, she has been in constant pain, due to the plates in her back, plus issues related to a failed colostomy, and bladder infections. The pain has never been managed (pain management is largely a fiction). After my father died, things were tough for her, mentally and physically, resulting in 17 admissions during 2023 largely due to pain, and a botched missed surgery due to a NHS scheduling mixup. The constant pain has affected the parts of the brain that relate to how you deal with pain, and it changed her reaction to pain to being basically delusional. She eventually went into Discharge to Assess, a hangover from COVID (patients are discharged to a nursing home before going home). She never went home. A psychiatrist believes she may have Lowey Body Dementia, though he's referred her for scans. Ironically, when she went for the scan, the hospital turned her away because she was on a stretcher. Because she is waiting for a scan, her pain medication cannot be altered.
She has full continuing healthcare, which means the NHS fully funds her at the nursing home. In theory, she is supposed to be undergoing rehab. Of course she isn't, and she will never return home.
Leaving a slightly awkward situation. Because she is not self-funding, her house doesn't need to be sold. I have full LPA, but I can't really sell her house as its her house, and she still thinks she is going home. The backgarden is overgrown now, because the mower broke. I will need to deal with that, but not sure how many years this will go on for, keeping the house in some sort of order. It gives me a base for when I visit. She's still paying council tax (refunded when its formally declared she ain't going home).
Sorry to hear this mate - tough all round for you. During that last summer he had gone into respite; my mother is a paraplegic (they had been caring for each other since her "accident" in 2017, a few months before his diagnosis), and she had some issues that needed hospitalisation.
While in the nursing home, he had a fall, which the home never told us about until I went to collect him, and found he was basically semi comatose. After his fall, he was taken to hospital for the day, and discharged, in this semi-sleeping state. And he was like that for about 3-4 days without the family knowing.
Initially, the cardiologist wanted him to be fitted with a pacemaker. The Alzheimers was basically affecting how the heart beat. The initial reaction is natural; why wouldn't you fit a pace maker? My mother, a retired nurse, vetod the idea, and said he should remain at home and be comfortable. She knew the end was coming, and if he had a pacemaker fitted, it was likely he wouldn't get out of surgery, and if he did, the leads would distress him, and probably he would never survive to be discharged. The Consultant agreed.
I was shocked to find out that in the UK, the majority of pacemakers are fitted to patients with dementia. Its the same in the US. Eventually, its only the pacemaker keeping the patient alive, and families have had to appeal to the Courts to get the thing turned off, and allow nature to take its course.
She was right. He lasted 4 more weeks at home. He remained in bed, he was comfortable. In the last week, the swallowing flex stopped. The carers did their best, but were hopeless at correctly positioning him, and as a result, he developed sores. He went in his sleep with me sitting by his side, holding his hand. Until that last night, he would always grip my hand. While semi conscious, we could have conversations, usually about the Arsenal, and the results. That last night, he stopped grasping my hand, and the conversation stopped, just noises. The last thing I did for him, at my mother's insistance, was to put his false teeth in. (the back of his head was still warm). He had been seen by a GP a few days before, so there was no need for PM. Arrangements had been made to keep him at home until the funeral. Though after a few days, he was a bit ripe, and I needed mum to let me (or rather the funeral directors) put on the lid.
We're at least lucky that he remembered everyone to the end. On that last day, my brother and his kids visited. He last words were literally bye bye.
So I would be wary, if you have a relative with dementia, about suggestions of pacemakers or implantable difibrilators.
One further thing; music is wonderful. Before he had his fall, I would sit with him in the living room. The TV would be on, but he couldn't see a thing due to a combination of macular degeneration, but also the Alzheimers robs you of understanding what you are looking at. One of the channels was all day music, from different eras. Listening to music can unlock a few things, temporarily. And, its not, as you might think, music from one's youth. One of the episodes was music of the 80s, when he was in his 40s, with a growing family, living in Bahrain. He'd listen to the songs, humming along, so that's one part of the brain stimulated, he would tap his feet, so another part, and he would remember when he heard the song; on Radio Bahrain's Hot 100. Normally his conversatio would increasingly be about the same anecdotes from when he was young (eg air raid shelter). I think it was just his way to be part of the conversation. he was a former lab scientist, ex-RAMC biochemist in the path labs. My own background is a PhD in microbiology. Suddenly when listening to this 80s music, we would engage in conversation about his job, not only that, but in an abstract way. We were talking about Covid testing, and he started thinking about how those tests worked, in relation to the sorts of tests he did in the lab. I thought it was remarkable. The memories were not gone; he was still there, but it was so much harder for him to retrieve those memories and capacity. In an Alzheimers patient, the loss of brain (atrophy) becomes pretty apparent in scans. So for him to suddenly start discussion how COVID ELISA testing was carried out just demonstrated how remarkable the brain is. And maybe there might be a cure, of sorts, in the future. Didn't always work out like that though.
Now I'm going through it again with my mother, though she is now in a nursing home. She has been a paraplegic since 2017, following a staph infection near the spinal cord and a bit of GP incompetance (prescribing morphine to a patient with a sore back who was immunocompromised following cancer treatment 20 years earlier. Morphine depresses the immune response. The GP failed to recognise the bad back coupled with a fever should have triggered an emergency scan, followed by emergency spinal decompression).
For the last 7 years, she has been in constant pain, due to the plates in her back, plus issues related to a failed colostomy, and bladder infections. The pain has never been managed (pain management is largely a fiction). After my father died, things were tough for her, mentally and physically, resulting in 17 admissions during 2023 largely due to pain, and a botched missed surgery due to a NHS scheduling mixup. The constant pain has affected the parts of the brain that relate to how you deal with pain, and it changed her reaction to pain to being basically delusional. She eventually went into Discharge to Assess, a hangover from COVID (patients are discharged to a nursing home before going home). She never went home. A psychiatrist believes she may have Lowey Body Dementia, though he's referred her for scans. Ironically, when she went for the scan, the hospital turned her away because she was on a stretcher. Because she is waiting for a scan, her pain medication cannot be altered.
She has full continuing healthcare, which means the NHS fully funds her at the nursing home. In theory, she is supposed to be undergoing rehab. Of course she isn't, and she will never return home.
Leaving a slightly awkward situation. Because she is not self-funding, her house doesn't need to be sold. I have full LPA, but I can't really sell her house as its her house, and she still thinks she is going home. The backgarden is overgrown now, because the mower broke. I will need to deal with that, but not sure how many years this will go on for, keeping the house in some sort of order. It gives me a base for when I visit. She's still paying council tax (refunded when its formally declared she ain't going home).
Unfortunately we have this ahead of us with mil. Symptoms we have noticed so far include not really being able to retain new information e.g. remembering what people wanted for a round of tea (4 people), also even though she's been to our house about 10 times and stayed for weekend etc, she never remembers where the toilet/guest bedroom is. (And we don't have a directors mansion with 12 bedrooms).
I believe she is currently waiting for the memory test.
Going to be tough, especially as we're 6hrs away.
I believe she is currently waiting for the memory test.
Going to be tough, especially as we're 6hrs away.
Tim Cognito said:
Unfortunately we have this ahead of us with mil. Symptoms we have noticed so far include not really being able to retain new information e.g. remembering what people wanted for a round of tea (4 people), also even though she's been to our house about 10 times and stayed for weekend etc, she never remembers where the toilet/guest bedroom is. (And we don't have a directors mansion with 12 bedrooms).
I believe she is currently waiting for the memory test.
Going to be tough, especially as we're 6hrs away.
Sorry to hear this. I believe she is currently waiting for the memory test.
Going to be tough, especially as we're 6hrs away.
We are at that stage, perhaps a bit further along. I don't even have a hot drink at my folks now cos its never what I ask for and I feel a git saying this but I cheesed off repeating what I want.
I now try and sort drinks out for us all but my stepmum gets very precious about it.
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