Dealing with stress and anxiety

[James_N]

I read Greenbot and Ground effects posts and my first thought was "work doesn't sound like its helping your mental health"

I think we spend so much of our lives at work, wrapped up in certain tasks and deadlines, we forget about ourselves and only realise when its too late.

I'm just NHS admin on 3 days a week (Mon, Wed, Fri) and I was asked to do more and work 5 days a week, which I did for about 6 months.

I bloody hated it. In my current 3 day pattern, for every day I worked, I have a day off (so work Mon, have tues off, work wed, have thurs off etc) and I liked that.

Yes the extra money was nice, but in the grand scheme of things, didn't make a huge difference, so jacked that in.

Having the two days off in the week is much nicer. and maybe one for the council thread but I've just purchased myself a new Lazy Spa hot tub. Frivolous purchase yes, but nice to have something to relax in on my days off and i'm starting to realise at the age of 40, you can't put a price on mental wellbeing.

That said, I'm still feeling anxious on a daily basis. Not done anything about it yet, I could go the GP, but reluctant to take any medication so might try some other solutions or supplements.

[popeyewhite]

For cortisol control I've found phosphatidylserine quite effective.

[Tutankhamun]

I'm currently homeless and you all here crying at home about stress and anxiety... sad to read but you have no idea how strong you are

[lizardbrain]

Tutankhamun said:

I'm currently homeless and you all here crying at home about stress and anxiety... sad to read but you have no idea how strong you are

Instability of homelife has to be one of the biggest stressors. I'm very sorry to hear that. Do you have any path back to a rental or similar?

As for who is deserving of stress releif, we are all only human. We all get thirsty if we don't drink water, and we all have stress that has real physical impact on our body. It's no less real for being a different trigger

[jasonrobertson86]

Tutankhamun said:

I'm currently homeless and you all here crying at home about stress and anxiety... sad to read but you have no idea how strong you are

People being in worse situations rarely makes a person feel fortunate nor does it help to reduce stress/anxiety.

[redrabbit29]

I found this thread whilst searching and it fits my current sitaution perfectly. It's mostly work related. My job is fine most of the time but has periods of stress as I deal in incident response for clients, and so when they need help, it's always extremely urgent and pressurised.

In fact, I have a situation going on this week, where the client is being a total arse. "I don't feel you're treating this urgently", "We want daily calls", etc. Despite me being very good with clients and very helpful.Sometimes you get idiots like that.

A big part of the stress is I feel alone and isolated with these types of situations. I often work on my own, so I'll join these calls or work on this incident on my own. Often worried about my ability to find the issue or help, or resolve it. So I then feel completely vulnerable, trying to answer questions all on my own (hope that doesn't sound too whiney).

Today, I have a Bupa referral come through for CBT. I've looked through a list of people I can see and sent a couple of emails asking about appointments. On the screening call, the mental health person said that standard therapy may not have helped much before, so CBT may be better for me.

Often this anxiety is short lived, e.g. after the incident finishes and everyones happy, I am absolutely fine... until I'm not. Then its' back to shaking, inability to sleep, etc.

[TimmyMallett]

redrabbit29 said:

My job is fine most of the time but has periods of stress as I deal in incidenOften worried about my ability to find the issue or help, or resolve it. So I then feel completely vulnerable, trying to answer questions all on my own (hope that doesn't sound too whiney).
.

If it's any consolation I could have written that. Frequently in my work I get people trying to undermine my process and governance and I often freak out that I'm not being clear of firm enough and I tense up on calls feeling attacked. It passes and I know it's not personal but I really don't deal with stuff like that healthily.

I've been going through 7 months of what I suspect is hormone related and am waiting to see a specialist at St George's but it's taken CBT, hypnotherapy, talking therapy, clinical psychologist and psychiatry with meds to not work to get to this point.

Anyone here has my sympathy as it can be hell when you're in it.


Christmas day I was lining up pills as I couldn't face cooking lunch for my family it got that bad.

[shirt]

ItIsPrivate said:

Squadrone Rosso said:

If you’re able, do something physical in the fresh air.

Thank you - I am doing a lot more exercise in the last 1-2 months and really enjoying it. Rejoined my running club, starting turbo sessions and walking more. That is helping.

Thanks again for the advice

Sporky said:

and suggesting I try a couple of online tests for autism. I'm not saying you are, but there are familiar things in what you've posted (and poor sleep is quite common). The RAADS-R is a good place to start if you want, but I may be adding 1 and 1 and getting 7.
Best of luck; I hope at least some of this is helpful, even if it's just "it's not just you".

Thanks for all the advice, really helpful, especially with the things that didn't work and the way you've started to identify it at an earlier stage to start to deal with it.

I don't know if it's possible but I feel I've got more autistic over the years. I worked in the emergency services for years and was very resillient, dealing with lots of things and enjoying it. No trauma or anything like that.

Anyway, I've noticed I do have some unusual quirks:

• Really hate being sat in between lots of people. Like if there is a table of people, I would always feel 100x more relaxed on the end rather than in the middle of a big row.

• Noise - if there are 10 converations on going around it me it sets me on edge. Similarly, I once went to a theme park and the sound of lots of kids screaming really made me tense up.

• If you met me you'd think I'm a nice guy, sociable, good laugh etc. I am but there is also a point where I get really "tired" in company. Like if I was with some people it's fine for an hour. But if I was with them for an entire day, or two days, then it will really get hard to keep energy levels up. I just get worn down by it.

Anyway, I will try that test thing you mentioned and consider all the other things you've found some success with.

OP read like autistic burnout to me. Strongly reminiscent of my OH. you wouldn’t know it if you didn’t see her outside of a work or social setting as she’s masking. Fully functional in a high level and stressful job etc. Privately can be a mess, it’s just how she’s wired up.

Personally I think that any neuro divergence is more easy to cope with if you realised it on your own volition. An understanding of how you’re wired up is a good thing, so look into regardless.

[Melloworac]

I just stuck with a simple spreadsheet for tracking everything—kept it easy to update and check. Tried fancy stuff before but always ended up back with Excel.