What has your "friend" been up to?

What has your "friend" been up to?

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Pints

18,441 posts

148 months

Tuesday 24th May 2011
quotequote all
My friend is really jealous that you lot all have friends.

frown

Terminator X

8,958 posts

158 months

Tuesday 24th May 2011
quotequote all
Breadvan73 said:
- Been arrested for being cheeky to a policeman.
So your friend is on the DNA database ... only a matter of time before Plod pulls him for a serious offence then!

Great thread btw smile

TX.

Breadvan73

Original Poster:

36,591 posts

117 months

Tuesday 24th May 2011
quotequote all
His DNA has to come off the database now - see Court ruling from last week.

My "friend" has also bust class A airspace without a clearance, successfully sued someone for libel, and (probably) lost a half million quid lottery ticket which he didn't do anything about.

VladD

7,317 posts

219 months

Tuesday 24th May 2011
quotequote all
My friend once loudly told an elderly disabled woman that she was a "bitter and twisted old woman" whilst in a shop full of customers. This was after she unjustifyably compalined to him about his parking and started an argument.

He has also twice outrun the police. Once because he was driving too enthusistically and was a bit mentally unstable and once because he really badly needed to urinate.

He has also torn the speedomoter cable in half on his first car after he carried too much speed over a hump backed bridge and the cable got caught between the car and the ground on landing.

He may have also have attempted to remove a head bolt by turning it the wrong way, resulting in it snapping off. Gluing it back in was only a temporary solution despite his hoping otherwise.

antspants

1,842 posts

129 months

Tuesday 24th May 2011
quotequote all
Breadvan73 said:
- Reversed a brand new BMW into a bollard.
We might have the same friend, although mine ignored his parking sensors and reversed his BM into a lamppost - the blind tit!

Breadvan73

Original Poster:

36,591 posts

117 months

Tuesday 24th May 2011
quotequote all
Sounds like the same dude. He also cracked the sump on an Alfa by going over a speed hump too fast.

ehonda

1,483 posts

159 months

Tuesday 24th May 2011
quotequote all
Last week my friend was only saved from reversing his van into the father in law's brand new car by the frantic banging on the van by his wife.
He has also had a row with an old busybody in a car park regarding his perfectly acceptable parking.
He forgot to turn the power off when fitting fluorescent lights in his garage and was only saved from being flung across the garage from the stepladder by insulated wire cutters.
He also swivelled his motorbike around on it's sidestand by gripping the peg with his right hand and the hot exhaust with the inside of his right forearm, david carradine/kung fu style.

Aberdeenloon

2,642 posts

111 months

Tuesday 24th May 2011
quotequote all
antspants said:
Breadvan73 said:
- Reversed a brand new BMW into a bollard.
We might have the same friend, although mine ignored his parking sensors and reversed his BM into a lamppost - the blind tit!
I also have the same friend - cupid stunt switched off those annoying parking sensors and reversed into a fking house.

Lefty

15,229 posts

156 months

Tuesday 24th May 2011
quotequote all
gareth.e said:
Aberdeenloon said:
Webber3 said:
LeeThr said:
Aberdeenloon said:
John D. said:
832ark said:
Lefty said:
Was offered "anything he wanted" by a female student tenant in lieu of rent. Then made the mistake of starting a thread on PH about it with a pseudonym.

banghead

hehe
Link?
Indeed. Does she still need a room?
Yes, this really does require a link.
For god sakes, wheres the god damn link man!!!!
and pictures!
Goes without saying...
Yeh, hurry up too...

I'm waiting!
I think it was deleted because you're not allowed multiple logins.

Thankfully. There was a wee bit of mickey takinghehe

Hudson

1,857 posts

141 months

Tuesday 24th May 2011
quotequote all
a mate of mine reversed straight into a house while doing a 3 point turn. He was also fond of racing every chavved up hatchback he saw.

he has since however, calmed down a bit. i should follow his example.

Breadvan73

Original Poster:

36,591 posts

117 months

Tuesday 24th May 2011
quotequote all
My "friend", when young and foolish, raced his BMW 325i against a Saab 900 Turbo along the Embankment, hit a kerb and wrote off a wheel and tyre. He has slowed down a bit since then.

MadMullah

5,134 posts

147 months

Tuesday 24th May 2011
quotequote all
I think to most of my friends

I am that friend frown

SpaceCowboy

563 posts

190 months

Tuesday 24th May 2011
quotequote all
My friend was one of those kids whom you would see either on crutches or with an arm in a sling almost literally every other week for the duration of their school years.

At approx age 10, same friend broke an arm, as a result of the bag of sausages he'd picked up for his Mum getting entangled in the spokes of the front wheel of his Raleigh Burner, throwing him over the bars and onto the road.

10 years later, same friend broke an arm after colliding with another friend in mid-air, whilst downhill mountain-biking through a forest. The other friend suffered a fractured skull and facial abrasions requiring plastic surgery.

As an apprentice mechanic, same friend's foot slipped off the clutch as he reversed a customer's car in the works forecourt, causing him to collide with 2 other customer's cars and resulting in him almost being sacked.

On passing his driving test, same friend had a very tidy SR Nova, which was his pride and joy. On a dark and very wet evening, some yoofs (pedestrians, dressed in dark clothes) were messing around not far from his home, playing chicken with other cars etc. They ran into the road in front of same friend's car, he swerved to avoid them, mounted the kerb and ploughed into the remainder of their group - who weren't playing chicken, but merely standing on the footpath. One of them was shunted over a garden wall and suffered a broken leg and collarbone. Fortunately, same friend didn't lose his licence because approx 30 mins before the incident, a taxi driver had called the Police to report the yoofs' dangerous behaviour - telling Police that "someone's going to get themselves killed."

Same friend was only insured TPFT on the Nova and repaired it at his own cost. On doing so, he was racing another friend (the one who later fractured his skull, above), also in an SR Nova. Same friend lost it at a very large roundabout on a dual carriageway and, in fact, went over the roundabout as opposed to round it at high speed, hitting a lamppost and knocking it down. Another friend, who is powerfully built, was sitting in the back at the time, not belted in. The force of the impact threw him forward so hard that he ripped the driver's seat out of its mountings and suffered a dislocated shoulder. This time, the Nova was written off.

I haven't seen same friend for several years, but last I'd heard was that he'd married the daughter of the boss of a very large household-name company and was doing rather well.

Tyngwndwn

12,534 posts

135 months

Tuesday 24th May 2011
quotequote all
I don't have any friendsgetmecoat

Blown2CV

23,492 posts

157 months

Tuesday 24th May 2011
quotequote all
he has written off 3 metros. One into a tree whilst messing with the stereo on the back seat to replace the broken headunit, one into a friend's dad, and one sandwiched between a bus and a truck

jesta1865

3,434 posts

163 months

Tuesday 24th May 2011
quotequote all
MadMullah said:
I think to most of my friends

I am that friend frown
i don't have to think it, i know it.


my mates all just sit in the pub in silence till i tip up and entertain them with my exploits.

the latest being a broken arm. it seems to make them laugh and keep them happy smile

poloprincess

10 posts

110 months

Tuesday 24th May 2011
quotequote all
my friend maintains he was only doing 30 when he ploughed his R32 off a straight road in to a ditch and rolled it twice!

ensignia

789 posts

189 months

Tuesday 24th May 2011
quotequote all
My friend has been driving without tax since October 2009, insurance since God knows when and no MOT for the last 18 months. True story, bro.

Breadvan73

Original Poster:

36,591 posts

117 months

Tuesday 24th May 2011
quotequote all
That sounds suspiciously like an actual friend, but whether friend or "friend", he should be dobbed in, assuming that the driving is not on a Scalectrix track or otherwise not on a road.

sebhaque

5,780 posts

135 months

Tuesday 24th May 2011
quotequote all
My "friend" accidentally sat on the garage plipper thing when reversing his old car out of the garage and ended up clobbering the bottom of the door with the roof of his car. Luckily there was no damage to my his car, and it was a shed anyway so it didn't matter. The door suffered a harsher fate though and ended up needing replacing.

Same "friend" also saw an empty parking space at work and nabbed it. The car in front drove off but my friend didn't think anything of it. My friend then came back to his car and saw a PCN for parking on a yellow line banghead