RE: 2023 BMW XM | PH Review
Discussion
TWPC said:
Hereward said:
Being kind I could say this expresses similar monolithic brutalism to the Rolls Royce Cullinan at one third of the price. Tremendous value!
Very generous of you to find a point in favour of the XM. However, I counter that the Dacia Bigster looks like it will offer the same aesthetic for one fifth of its price (and a bargain one fifteenth of the Cullinan). 
I find this car irredeemably ugly. However, I'd like to explain why, rather than just saying "the horror!".
The profile
The bonnet is too high.
The side profile is not too bad, but the gold signature line peters out in an odd way. I'd also question why the signature highlight is required in the first instance. Well styled cars don't use or need this.
I like the rising waistline, and the D pillar accent. So, not bad profile from the side - but not great either.
The squared off wheel arches look awkward; luckily, they are in black to disguise their clumsy application.
I like the dark blue metallic. It also works well with the gold signature stripe (in colour terms), and if you think that blue and gold don't work, don't visit a watch shop any time soon. It's a standard colour combination in the horological industry.
The front
I have several problems with this.
it's too blocky.
The grille is too large, and is not properly integrated with the rest of the front. It looks stuck on, like a bad photoshopped image.
The lights are disproportionately small, and are lost. Having two layers of lights doesn't really work, although it's fortunate that the lower layer is hidden in daylight / dark colours.
Acres of black will not work well with anything other than dark colours.
The rear
The rear valance looks like someone is gurning. Unless you're a frog, this is not known to be a good look.
The rear lights stick out into the airflow, and look clumsy as a result.
The gold highlighting of what pretends to be a diffuser (in a fat SUV?) just brings attention to a superfluous detail.
The polygonal exhausts have a shape that bears no resemblance to any other part of the body, other than perhaps the wheel arches or maybe the front grill, way ahead at the front (I'd say the sharp end, but that would be an offence under the Trades Description Act).
The surfacing
What can I say? Clumsy, discordant, and vulgar. To quote CAR's Anthony Ffrench-Constant's suggested description of the XM's "mini-me", the iX1, the "incoherent, shouty mishmash of slashes, creases, bulges and materials" might just as well apply to the XM.
And many are calling the Ferrari Roma convertible ugly? The mind boggles.
The interior
I like the terracotta and cream combination in principle, but I'd lose the shouty silver. It's at odds with the black dah and wheel (which looks as if it has been borrowed from another car) .I think also that the cream overwhelms the interior when combined with the silver. Having colour in a car helps elevate it above the black associated with more prosaic transport, but care is required to do it well. It's not done well here.
In summary, I think it is a clumsy childish overstyled mess, whose only redeeming visual feature is to accurately convey the utter mass of this vehicle. In one word, it's vulgar. Utterly vulgar (okay, that's two words..)
I have no doubt that this will make money for BMW, but then again, tastes have changed, and current trends are not where I want to be. I'll head off to look at the outgoing 6 Series and wonder why the virtues of elegance and grace have no place in so much automotive output.
(edited for typos and mistakes)
The profile
The bonnet is too high.
The side profile is not too bad, but the gold signature line peters out in an odd way. I'd also question why the signature highlight is required in the first instance. Well styled cars don't use or need this.
I like the rising waistline, and the D pillar accent. So, not bad profile from the side - but not great either.
The squared off wheel arches look awkward; luckily, they are in black to disguise their clumsy application.
I like the dark blue metallic. It also works well with the gold signature stripe (in colour terms), and if you think that blue and gold don't work, don't visit a watch shop any time soon. It's a standard colour combination in the horological industry.
The front
I have several problems with this.
it's too blocky.
The grille is too large, and is not properly integrated with the rest of the front. It looks stuck on, like a bad photoshopped image.
The lights are disproportionately small, and are lost. Having two layers of lights doesn't really work, although it's fortunate that the lower layer is hidden in daylight / dark colours.
Acres of black will not work well with anything other than dark colours.
The rear
The rear valance looks like someone is gurning. Unless you're a frog, this is not known to be a good look.
The rear lights stick out into the airflow, and look clumsy as a result.
The gold highlighting of what pretends to be a diffuser (in a fat SUV?) just brings attention to a superfluous detail.
The polygonal exhausts have a shape that bears no resemblance to any other part of the body, other than perhaps the wheel arches or maybe the front grill, way ahead at the front (I'd say the sharp end, but that would be an offence under the Trades Description Act).
The surfacing
What can I say? Clumsy, discordant, and vulgar. To quote CAR's Anthony Ffrench-Constant's suggested description of the XM's "mini-me", the iX1, the "incoherent, shouty mishmash of slashes, creases, bulges and materials" might just as well apply to the XM.
And many are calling the Ferrari Roma convertible ugly? The mind boggles.
The interior
I like the terracotta and cream combination in principle, but I'd lose the shouty silver. It's at odds with the black dah and wheel (which looks as if it has been borrowed from another car) .I think also that the cream overwhelms the interior when combined with the silver. Having colour in a car helps elevate it above the black associated with more prosaic transport, but care is required to do it well. It's not done well here.
In summary, I think it is a clumsy childish overstyled mess, whose only redeeming visual feature is to accurately convey the utter mass of this vehicle. In one word, it's vulgar. Utterly vulgar (okay, that's two words..)
I have no doubt that this will make money for BMW, but then again, tastes have changed, and current trends are not where I want to be. I'll head off to look at the outgoing 6 Series and wonder why the virtues of elegance and grace have no place in so much automotive output.
(edited for typos and mistakes)
Edited by Ray_Aber on Sunday 19th March 12:31
LunarOne said:
TWPC said:
Hereward said:
Being kind I could say this expresses similar monolithic brutalism to the Rolls Royce Cullinan at one third of the price. Tremendous value!
Very generous of you to find a point in favour of the XM. However, I counter that the Dacia Bigster looks like it will offer the same aesthetic for one fifth of its price (and a bargain one fifteenth of the Cullinan). Off topic, but I’m looking forward to seeing what the Bigster is like when it is released. Whereas I’ve pretty much given up on new BMWs (except perhaps the little Neue Klasse).
Om said:
JimbobVFR said:
And I'm struggling to imagine a garage big enough, not many are I'd have thought
The kind of people who buy this don’t want it hidden away in a garage. They want it on show at the front of their semi-detached new build with its arse hanging out over the pavement.bangerhoarder said:
Would rather have a Citroen XM, by a margin. Using the change to try to clear all of the fault warnings on the dashboard.
Need to change the subtitle to M1 surely?
This. The Citroen is far more attractive and on the awful roads round here I'd expect a better drive too. Not only that but it doesn't have the stigma of a BMW SUV. (Some SUVs are fine, FF Range Rover, Land cruiser etc)Need to change the subtitle to M1 surely?
Also I can't help thinking it will be easier to keep the French car going in 15 to 20 years, despite it already being at least 25 years older.
Dark85 said:
The kind of people who buy this absolutely care what people think. They want everyone to know how rich and successful they are, hence all the "bling".
I'd buy this over the new range rover, if I had the money being the only caveat!! I adore Range Rovers but the new one looks like a soap carcing of the 405 that's been left in a hot bath. Lazy styling is even more inexcusable than provocative styling!! Edited by biggbn on Sunday 19th March 16:21
Raccaccoonie said:
Arsecati said:
Damn! You gotta have one hell of a micro-penis to have a need to own one of these things.
That would be for all big cars though. SUVs are getting bigger, I mean the Ferrari SUV is massive and no need for for it.biggbn said:
Raccaccoonie said:
Arsecati said:
Damn! You gotta have one hell of a micro-penis to have a need to own one of these things.
That would be for all big cars though. SUVs are getting bigger, I mean the Ferrari SUV is massive and no need for for it.I think it's a pretty vile car, but the comments on here are, frankly, ridiculous, and people seem to have a bee in their bonnet because someone else might like something they don't.
biggbn said:
What a dreadful cliche. Perhaps we should all own only what we need? Thus doing away with the classic car movement and any car enthusiast who owns anything that can be considered profligate by a judgemental third party? Who would be the arbitrer? The state perhaps? We could all be issued sate built cars only if we qualify, its what we need after all?
This car is aimed at China male market, the average penis size is 4.3 inches. I think that speaks for itself. There is a study that also found the link between small penis size and sportscar ownership
We found that males, and males over 30 in particular, rated sports cars as more desirable when they were made to feel that they had a small penis,"
https://futurism.com/neoscope/sports-cars-penis-si...
Arsecati said:
Damn! You gotta have one hell of a micro-penis to have a need to own one of these things.
It's fascinating that the assumption is that the only person interested in this has a penis at all. I would expect a sizeable portion of the target audience are female; most SUV owners I know are.Gassing Station | General Gassing | Top of Page | What's New | My Stuff