Bed wetting 7 year old help
Discussion
Need some help/advice, open to anything at this point.
Our eldest will be 8 in July, we are currently at 5/6 nights a week where he has an accident in his sleep.
He's refused to wear pant style pants for the last two years, like me he struggles to get to sleep, his younger brother who is 5 has been nappy and accident free since he was two and a half.
He either ends up in our bed having changed out of his clothes or the spare room.
We stop water intake beyond dinner, make him go to the toilet before he goes to sleep, carry him out of his bunk for a sleepy wee but nothing changes, it's actually gotten worse the last few weeks.
He's getting to that age where this is going to stop him having/attending sleep overs with his mates, the whole situation makes me sad in honesty.
Our eldest will be 8 in July, we are currently at 5/6 nights a week where he has an accident in his sleep.
He's refused to wear pant style pants for the last two years, like me he struggles to get to sleep, his younger brother who is 5 has been nappy and accident free since he was two and a half.
He either ends up in our bed having changed out of his clothes or the spare room.
We stop water intake beyond dinner, make him go to the toilet before he goes to sleep, carry him out of his bunk for a sleepy wee but nothing changes, it's actually gotten worse the last few weeks.
He's getting to that age where this is going to stop him having/attending sleep overs with his mates, the whole situation makes me sad in honesty.
We had this issue with my youngest daughter when she had just turned seven. We got an alarm which clipped onto the front of her pants went off if she started to have an accident.
Despite my initial scepticism, it worked really well and she was out of nappies at night within three or four weeks. It’s a bit annoying in the short term as the alarm tends to wake you up too but since they also wake you up when they’ve wet the bed, there’s not that much difference!
Despite my initial scepticism, it worked really well and she was out of nappies at night within three or four weeks. It’s a bit annoying in the short term as the alarm tends to wake you up too but since they also wake you up when they’ve wet the bed, there’s not that much difference!
Bunk?
So if he needs a pee in the night he has to climb down steps?
We used to use double bedding with ours, so a quick remove of top sheet and waterproof under, revealing a new top sheet and waterproof under.
1 min job and back into bed. Or 2 min if the duvet needed swapping for the “emergency” one.
Having a ‘backup’ bed might be enabling being lazy. Having your bed also allows being lazy.
Having steps to get out of bed is perhaps a lazy inducer? Easier to just whizz in bed then come sleep with you?
Also limiting fluids seems sensible but in our experience they can wee a load after having drunk nothing, or drink loads and be dry… again this is possibly enabling odd behaviour?
Maybe best to just aim for what you want (and he probably wants), and try let your son figure it out around that.
Let him have a bed he can get out of easily in dark and get to a loo.
Let him stay in his bed all night even after an accident. No easy get-out solutions.
No drink bans, let him be a normal young kid and figure out what he’s feeling like at bed time etc.
I think our son at 6 ish (1.5yrs ago, he’s 7.5 now) had a bit of a patch of weeing bed a few times a week.
It went away. It was hard getting him to empty his bladder on a night, like he didn’t know what his level was and so didn’t try.
I just used to race him to do a wee faster, he’d always win, but it got him happy to just go and empty and get used to the idea of being empty before hopping into bed.
We still get occasional wake ups for a wet bed or daughter (5) wants escorting to loo at 4am etc.
Sorry not a wee expert.
Simply put, try just be as normal as you can, and act as close as you can to how you want it to be… then they’ll learn that that’s how it needs to be.
Good luck!
So if he needs a pee in the night he has to climb down steps?
We used to use double bedding with ours, so a quick remove of top sheet and waterproof under, revealing a new top sheet and waterproof under.
1 min job and back into bed. Or 2 min if the duvet needed swapping for the “emergency” one.
Having a ‘backup’ bed might be enabling being lazy. Having your bed also allows being lazy.
Having steps to get out of bed is perhaps a lazy inducer? Easier to just whizz in bed then come sleep with you?
Also limiting fluids seems sensible but in our experience they can wee a load after having drunk nothing, or drink loads and be dry… again this is possibly enabling odd behaviour?
Maybe best to just aim for what you want (and he probably wants), and try let your son figure it out around that.
Let him have a bed he can get out of easily in dark and get to a loo.
Let him stay in his bed all night even after an accident. No easy get-out solutions.
No drink bans, let him be a normal young kid and figure out what he’s feeling like at bed time etc.
I think our son at 6 ish (1.5yrs ago, he’s 7.5 now) had a bit of a patch of weeing bed a few times a week.
It went away. It was hard getting him to empty his bladder on a night, like he didn’t know what his level was and so didn’t try.
I just used to race him to do a wee faster, he’d always win, but it got him happy to just go and empty and get used to the idea of being empty before hopping into bed.
We still get occasional wake ups for a wet bed or daughter (5) wants escorting to loo at 4am etc.
Sorry not a wee expert.
Simply put, try just be as normal as you can, and act as close as you can to how you want it to be… then they’ll learn that that’s how it needs to be.
Good luck!
I’ve recently been dealing with one a similar age and had a GP appt about it. The main pointers beyond no drinks past dinner and a bedtime wee were:
Vasopressin is the hormone we have which conserves water during the night, a synthetic version - desmopressin can be prescribed if the bodies not producing it.
A damp alarm can be used (but seems a bit ‘after the horse has bolted’) Useful if they’re not woken by it but not really if they are..
ERIC website as mentioned above and linked here:
https://eric.org.uk/childrens-bladders/bedwetting/
We were also advised to provide a urine sample, but that was met with a ‘I AM NOT WEEING IN A BOTTLE!’
Personally I think there’s more of a psychological aspect and an element of controlling behaviour. It only happens during term time and hasn’t happened again since the appointment. We’ve not used the prescription, but I think the knowledge it’s available and the fact we’ve taken the issue seriously has in some way helped.
Vasopressin is the hormone we have which conserves water during the night, a synthetic version - desmopressin can be prescribed if the bodies not producing it.
A damp alarm can be used (but seems a bit ‘after the horse has bolted’) Useful if they’re not woken by it but not really if they are..
ERIC website as mentioned above and linked here:
https://eric.org.uk/childrens-bladders/bedwetting/
We were also advised to provide a urine sample, but that was met with a ‘I AM NOT WEEING IN A BOTTLE!’
Personally I think there’s more of a psychological aspect and an element of controlling behaviour. It only happens during term time and hasn’t happened again since the appointment. We’ve not used the prescription, but I think the knowledge it’s available and the fact we’ve taken the issue seriously has in some way helped.
We have this with our 9 year old daughter, have tried all sorts to help stop the problem, all the GP says is that she will grow out of it, we will occasionally get a few days/couple of weeks of not wetting then all of a sudden it will start again.
She hasn’t been able to go on any sleep overs which upsets her which in turn makes me upset, we’re currently on a dry spell and coincidentally she has been invited on a sleep over in a few weeks, so if she makes it until then with no accidents then we will think about it.
My son on the other hand, one night we went into his room when he was 2/3 and his nappy was thrown onto the floor, guess he just had enough as he never wet the bed that night or the 10+ years since!
She hasn’t been able to go on any sleep overs which upsets her which in turn makes me upset, we’re currently on a dry spell and coincidentally she has been invited on a sleep over in a few weeks, so if she makes it until then with no accidents then we will think about it.
My son on the other hand, one night we went into his room when he was 2/3 and his nappy was thrown onto the floor, guess he just had enough as he never wet the bed that night or the 10+ years since!
Thanks for the input.
We've discussed with his GP a while back, limiting fluid intake and taking him for a wee before we went to sleep were her suggestions, the taking him one seems counterintuitive to me but it works when we do it.
Re the bunk beds, this is fairly recent change, they now share a room at their request, the issue was there before we made that change.
The overarching thing from all advice we've had is that they will just grow out of it, it's just hard to live with it in the meantime, not to mention the washing machine taking an absolute hammering in the meantime.
Shall discuss the alarm and prescription with my wife, she spoke to one of the mums in his class yesterday, the prescription hasn't helped at all for her son who is his age.
We've discussed with his GP a while back, limiting fluid intake and taking him for a wee before we went to sleep were her suggestions, the taking him one seems counterintuitive to me but it works when we do it.
Re the bunk beds, this is fairly recent change, they now share a room at their request, the issue was there before we made that change.
The overarching thing from all advice we've had is that they will just grow out of it, it's just hard to live with it in the meantime, not to mention the washing machine taking an absolute hammering in the meantime.
Shall discuss the alarm and prescription with my wife, she spoke to one of the mums in his class yesterday, the prescription hasn't helped at all for her son who is his age.
We've just been through exactly the same thing with my son. He was in night time nappies until he was nearly 10, his younger sister was dry from 6. We'd tried all the non-medical methods (no drinks after dinner, carrying him through to the toilet when we went to bed etc) but nothing worked, he'd have a wet nappy every night and quite often we'd be changing his sheets in the middle of the night as well. We'd just decided we needed to go down the GP route when one morning he woke up dry and amazingly has been ever since, it was literally like flicking a switch so don't give up hope!
We had the same problems and concerns with sleepovers but my advice would be to talk to the other parents if you know them well. We were surprised to find out how many of his friends were also still having accidents at night and most parents were happy to find ways to make sleepovers work without embarrassing my son. We were even able to send my son away on a cub camp after a quick chat with the leader, she was more than happy to support and said we'd be probably be amazed how common it is to still have problems even at that age.
We had the same problems and concerns with sleepovers but my advice would be to talk to the other parents if you know them well. We were surprised to find out how many of his friends were also still having accidents at night and most parents were happy to find ways to make sleepovers work without embarrassing my son. We were even able to send my son away on a cub camp after a quick chat with the leader, she was more than happy to support and said we'd be probably be amazed how common it is to still have problems even at that age.
Daughter of 9 has the same problem, we've tried all the tricks and medication over the last few years without success.
(her 6 year old brother has been dry for a couple of years)
We went to the GP at least 3 years ago and she's had adverse reaction to the medication prescribed. But did get referred to a specialist who prescribed the meds and eventually examined her and said the major issue is her bladder is half the size it should be.
Essentially, to improve the duration she can hold her bladder, she needs to increase the size of her bladder, which means drink a lot more water.
Unfortunately for her, she's autistic, highly anxious and self conscious, shy, and doesn't want to drink more water as it'll make her need to go to the toilet more often. Teachers are engaged but haven't made any headway.
She was in hospital 13 months ago with pneumonia (having her lung drained) and was drinking s
tloads of water to help with her anxiety (I know!) and guess what - dry for a few days after she came home. We're trying to get the message to land...
FWIW she's going to a sleepover this weekend and isn't the slightest bashful about the need for her "night-time knicks". Yep, despite shyness and anxiety and OCD and all that. But at some point we are expecting the penny to drop and for her to decide to do something about it. We can't actually force the liquid in to her, she needs to come round to the idea, but as you can imagine with autism this is sometimes a piece of piss, and sometimes impossible right up until something clicks and suddenly it's a piece of piss!
Anyway. Things to do:
1) get to the doctors about it
2) make sure he's drinking plenty of water in the daytime and has plenty of chance to have a wee right up til bedtime
3) encourage him to have a second wee after the first is done - basically, have a wee, turn around three times (or jump up and down, or anything else to make it fun but also to relax the bladder muscles) then back to the loo for a final try. It's surprising how many times that results in a fair bit more coming out, and that can only help
(her 6 year old brother has been dry for a couple of years)
We went to the GP at least 3 years ago and she's had adverse reaction to the medication prescribed. But did get referred to a specialist who prescribed the meds and eventually examined her and said the major issue is her bladder is half the size it should be.
Essentially, to improve the duration she can hold her bladder, she needs to increase the size of her bladder, which means drink a lot more water.
Unfortunately for her, she's autistic, highly anxious and self conscious, shy, and doesn't want to drink more water as it'll make her need to go to the toilet more often. Teachers are engaged but haven't made any headway.
She was in hospital 13 months ago with pneumonia (having her lung drained) and was drinking s
tloads of water to help with her anxiety (I know!) and guess what - dry for a few days after she came home. We're trying to get the message to land...FWIW she's going to a sleepover this weekend and isn't the slightest bashful about the need for her "night-time knicks". Yep, despite shyness and anxiety and OCD and all that. But at some point we are expecting the penny to drop and for her to decide to do something about it. We can't actually force the liquid in to her, she needs to come round to the idea, but as you can imagine with autism this is sometimes a piece of piss, and sometimes impossible right up until something clicks and suddenly it's a piece of piss!
Anyway. Things to do:
1) get to the doctors about it
2) make sure he's drinking plenty of water in the daytime and has plenty of chance to have a wee right up til bedtime
3) encourage him to have a second wee after the first is done - basically, have a wee, turn around three times (or jump up and down, or anything else to make it fun but also to relax the bladder muscles) then back to the loo for a final try. It's surprising how many times that results in a fair bit more coming out, and that can only help
at primary school it is roughly 1/age number of children with this... (so every year 6 will have prob. 3 children etc.) When I trained as a teacher 30+ years ago there were always a few children in each class who needed discretion on a school trip away...
It is controlled by hormones / chemical release in the brain and is not something that can be just trained...
NHS won't even consider dealing with it as an issue until 7+ as it is seen as normal until then.
as above - ERIC is a good resource - also there is probably loads of information on mumsnet...
restricting drinking can be counter-productive, increasing it through the day and then restricting in the last bit before bed helps as it develops the bladder, but gives it time to get through the system before bed time... going to the loo twice before bed is also helpful...
other than that - key is to not make the child feel guilty - it will sort itself out - but can take a long time - there is a reason that pyjama pants etc. go up to c. 15 yrs of age...
It is controlled by hormones / chemical release in the brain and is not something that can be just trained...
NHS won't even consider dealing with it as an issue until 7+ as it is seen as normal until then.
as above - ERIC is a good resource - also there is probably loads of information on mumsnet...
restricting drinking can be counter-productive, increasing it through the day and then restricting in the last bit before bed helps as it develops the bladder, but gives it time to get through the system before bed time... going to the loo twice before bed is also helpful...
other than that - key is to not make the child feel guilty - it will sort itself out - but can take a long time - there is a reason that pyjama pants etc. go up to c. 15 yrs of age...
Unless a medical condition, it appears this "off switch" will get pressed one day, but the date just varies across different child.
I didn't really do anything significant, except to place a potty at bedside, but I did let my girls decide if they wanted to go nappy free for bedtime. Both of mine eventually went dry last summer, aged 7 and 5.5.
My eldest daughter was more concerned than me as she didn't want to wear nappy for the upcoming Y3 school camping trip in Sep!!
I didn't really do anything significant, except to place a potty at bedside, but I did let my girls decide if they wanted to go nappy free for bedtime. Both of mine eventually went dry last summer, aged 7 and 5.5.
My eldest daughter was more concerned than me as she didn't want to wear nappy for the upcoming Y3 school camping trip in Sep!!
Humans produce a hormone that stops them urinating when asleep. That's why we have a wee when we wake in the morning but can go for another before we've even had a drink.
Your son isn't yet producing that hormone (dunno why).
You can go to the docs but it may be faster to go online - my brother wet the bed till he was 12 yo. The doc, back in the '80's referred mum to a clinic who supplied him with a waterproof undersheet with electric wires in it that completed a circuit when wet and sounded a bedside alarm. Online searches look like they've evolved to night-time pants but the same applies.
After about 2-3 weeks he was dry.
I doubt it would wake a 6yo though, going by how difficult it was to wake any of mine at that age!
Worth a go for less than £50?
https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B00LX0OV2E?tag=track-e...
Your son isn't yet producing that hormone (dunno why).
You can go to the docs but it may be faster to go online - my brother wet the bed till he was 12 yo. The doc, back in the '80's referred mum to a clinic who supplied him with a waterproof undersheet with electric wires in it that completed a circuit when wet and sounded a bedside alarm. Online searches look like they've evolved to night-time pants but the same applies.
After about 2-3 weeks he was dry.
I doubt it would wake a 6yo though, going by how difficult it was to wake any of mine at that age!
Worth a go for less than £50?
https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B00LX0OV2E?tag=track-e...
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