Band dynamics.

[So]

Master So (early teens) has started his second band. The first one disbanded due to "artistic differences". Already the second is going wrong, though.

Basically two of the band wanted their mate to join, despite him being a talentless oik. My son has gone along with it, but the newcomer is brash, talentless and unsuitable. Master So is upset because it was he who got the band together and he feels that he is being ousted.

I have explained to him that the entire history of bands is founded on similar problems.

My gut feeling is that a democracy doesn't work in a band and that there needs to be overall control by one party or otherwise a small part of the band. The line being, "It's our band, you do what we say or we will find another vocalist / bassist / drummer (delete as appropriate).

But I have never been in a band, so I don't really know. Can anyone here with experience share their wisdom please?

[So]

davidd said:

I've also made that girlfriend mistake..

Anyway the general rule is that a band needs a leader, that leadership role can change though as time goes on.

I'm in a band, I'm the least musical but always take the lead role as otherwise we'd just arse about and never get anything done.

My son is going through similar band issues as yours, but his band is put together by his tutors (he's doing a music btec) so they have to put up with each other.

It was a music tutor who introduced our son to his band mates, but beyond that it is down to them to make it work.

[So]

Grrbang said:

Assuming he's youngish and unconfrontational, has your son made his view known to the others? I was in a band that continued for a few years because we were assertive and got rid of toxic people when necessary, giving the band a new lease of life.

If nobody is prepared to hurt feelings, then the band will just drift apart. So common.

But if, as you implied, they might actively fire your son from his own band despite being more talented, it raises questions. It's an unusually assertive action to take if there's no underlying issue, so he should ask definitely ask nicely for their honest feedback if that happens.

Since I posted, yet another member has been asked to join by the others. He hasn't got the strength of personality at this age to put his foot down.

However, he has found himself another guitarist who can play but doesn't consider himself one of the "cool" kids, who apparently knows other such musicians.

It looks like Band A has been stillborn. Long live Band B.